为你存在

22/5/11

2011-05-22T22:33:00.001+08:00

告诉自己，是时候了，该睡觉了，反正他也不会打来了，反正他也不会发短信来了，纵使等到天亮结局还是一样...不停告诉着自己事实就是这样,但手上的手机始终都没有放下，心中不停给自己死心的理由，行动却一直在给他一次机会....

或许这并不是在给自己机会吧，或许这只是自己不愿意承认的事实，因为自己还是不死心，除了等待，你根本就不会打电话给她，因为经验已经告诉你，这只会让她反感...

所以除了等，还是等，叫自己别等了，但还是痴痴地在等，叫自己别在意，但表现还是那么在意，叫自己不要胡思乱想，偏偏你不知道，你已经在胡斯乱想了...

等到自己不知觉地睡着了，却感觉到电话好像响了，起身一看，原来什么都没有，盖上了眼睛，但只是一会儿，却还是会拿起电话来看...

一直到你听见了她的来电，听见她说：“你睡啦，那我不吵你了！”可你却还说：“不要紧，陪我聊下吧~”虽然此刻的你已经不知道自己在说什么了,但你依然坚持要陪他多聊几句，或许是为了弥补自己等待时，那颗受尽伤害的心灵吧...

爱一个人就是这样地傻，等了一整夜就是为了几句话，付出许多也不过是要你开心，忍受着一切伤痛就是不让你知道，明明就已经累得神志不清了，却不想让她打来时，告诉她你累了...

12/4/11

2011-04-12T23:23:00.001+08:00

我沒有很想你我只是在早上醒來的時候，看看手機，有沒有你發來的信息,有沒有你的未接來電

我沒有很想你我只是在上網的時候，首先關注你的空間，看看你最近是不是有更新

我沒有很想你我只是在聊天的時候，翻閱你發給我的簡訊，看著你的照片，回憶一下那些美好時光

我沒有很想你我只是餓了，想你會餓嗎，冷了，想你會冷嗎

我沒有很想你我只是走在大街上看到男男女女，好希望那一對對裡有我們

我沒有很想你我只是把你的來電調成唯一的鈴音，放在我身邊，並不時的看看是否自動關機，是否信號良好

我沒有很想你我只是在吃小吃的時候，想如果你能和我一起吃，那該是多幸福的事啊

我沒有很想你我只是在聽歌的時候，偶爾會被某句歌詞擊中，腦中出現短暫的空白

我沒有很想你我只是想看看你的樣子，聽聽你的聲音

我沒有很想你我只是在別人無意提起你的時候，愣在那裡，不知答話

我沒有很想你我只是在睡前緊握著手機，等待著你的情話，等待著你說晚安

我沒有很想你我只是睡不著的時候想想你，但是，我不知道我是因為睡不著而想你，還是因為想你而睡不著

我沒有很想你我只是在每次醒來的時候，第一個想到你

10/1/11

2011-04-10T23:45:00.003+08:00

因为有你，我认真过，我改变过，我努力过，我悲伤过……

我傻，为你傻；我痛，为你痛；深夜里，你是我一种惯性的回忆…我不想在为过去而挣扎，我不想在为过去而努力，我不想在为思念而牵挂，可这些都只是不想，我、做不到……

有一种坚持是心痛，有一种放弃是孤独；生命里剩下的只有等待与思念…经历一些事，就读懂一些人…看不透事实的真相，诺言、谎言、开始、结局；真像是躲避不了的寂寞，和寂寞打交道，孤独半生遗忘在某角落里偷窥别人的幸福…

有一种感觉叫学会；有一种后悔叫心碎，时间一天一天的过去，累计一点一点的心痛，直到无法承受，心已死去，你会发现：爱有多深，痛就有多浓。爱过方知情深，醉过后方知酒浓；不爱了还有什么是差距，不想了还有什么是比例．？

当你喜欢一个人的时候，你会怎样做．？你会不会每夜因为想他而不能眠；当你喜欢一个不喜欢自己的人，你会怎么做．？一个人单恋．？一个人痛苦．？还是要为他打拼，为他做更多事，看着他幸福自己就会幸福．？也许是我爱的太无奈，明知道没有结果却偏往死里爱。

或许是爱的越深，伤的越痛，却、越痛越爱！低头、沉默、蹲墙角、数泪…心在说谎，泪在投降！因为害怕伤害，所以选择离开……

因为有你，恋爱的感觉、有过；背叛的感觉、有过；离别的感觉、有过；最后，甚至连死的感觉都有过。

一直等待着你的回头，最后却换来心碎的迷离…这个世界只有你，才能让我明白，什么是爱，什么是痛，痛！已经麻痹了我，无所谓只会让我伤的更深，只怪自己太执着才会让你伤的如此彻底……

看着你的离开，我低头苦笑，眼泪却早已投降，渐渐的才发现你是多么可笑，慢慢地走进我的世界悄悄的偷走我的心，最后却默默地看着你的背影头也不回的离开，走的如此彻底、你的离开让我明白：原来爱情那么脆弱，总是经不起这点折腾，却、我还是选择等待…

我瞧不起那卑微的爱情，带走了我的思念，留下的只是那苦涩的回忆…仰望45度只为了那个亘古不变的道理，不想让眼泪落下…无所谓的执着，让爱亵读着寂寞，或许我会离开，只因为爱的太深，陷的太深，伤的太深…爱加深了理解，痛失去了知觉，心痛让我明白.爱；只是无所谓的徘徊！

恋爱时，我们彼此忘记了时间，分手后，时间让我们忘记了彼此，心痛让我找到了沉默的借口，十指紧紧相扣，默念天荒地老…你给我的爱假的太逼真，让我找不到离开的理由，人不到伤痕累累就不会懂得后悔，我是真的爱你，脸上写着无所谓，其实还是很在乎！

人生就像一场戏，谁在为我编排… 、爱情亦如此、但爱情这场戏、我没演技、所以我退出、我选择默默等候、你好像已经看不见我了、无所谓、我会等、等你再次发现我、我还在原地等你、你是否记得我们在一起的那些片段……

19/3/11

2011-03-19T23:26:00.000+08:00

I’m a loser, a stubborn, silly loser. I always lose to u.. After so many years, so many thing happen and changed but I guess my feeling toward you still remain almost the same. You still stand a important place in my heart. I always tell myself, thing had changed already and always trying to convince myself that I had already put down and treat you as friend. But did I manage to do that ? It’s always a question mark..

5 years already, it almost 5 years and still you stand such a important place in my heart. I know that no matter what, both of us are just impossible that why I choose the other path and that is to remain good friend and I will still be able to contact and meet u. whenever you tell me something that you might need help or not sure, I will be like thinking all ways to help you. Now I control myself, I told myself not to do that as someone will be helping you with that.

I am always guessing and thinking, do you have a bf already? And if you really have, how would I react to it? Even though I had been telling myself you must had a bf and if there is one day, you tell me that you had a bf, I wonder what will I do or react to it. I love to see you smile coz your smile really brighten up my days and I feel so contented when I see you smile J Can you just continue smiling for me? You know when you say that you miss Taiwan? In my mind, I’m thinking of what can I buy for you at Taiwan and send it to you as small surprises.

Looking through all those stuff that I had type over the past few years, I felt that I am so childish but yet I can sense that I really love you a lot and willing to do anything just for you. Do you know that you’re the only person that can make me feel really happy, really sad, seriously hurt and confused? Maybe you must have think that lulu is the ger that I’m going for now as my fb dp is me &her, my phone wallpaper is me n her. But do you know that if now both of us had taken a new pic, everything will change to that pic. I guess all those dp n all is just a way of me trying to hide thing and will make ppl think that I’d get over you and …

Maybe it only in my dreams that I assume that I already get over you but the fact is I dun even noe what? It a confuse feeling and it me, it myself that …. Sometime I feel that I get over you but sometime I think of you and browse through our sms and all.. I’m just a loser in this kind of stuff. I’m sorry !

Silly Dang signin off ~

My Secret Garden

2011-02-01T23:07:00.003+08:00

I noe i had been away for long and finally i'm back to here.. My secret garden :) I try to avoid doing alot of thing that might cause ppl to think that i still have feeling for her like not wishing her on her FB wall and purposely not to be the 1st few to wish her.. I noe that de reason i'm doing all this thing is to avoid stuff and make myself feel that she's nt as impt anymore but i guess I fail as she's still as impt, maybe a very impt yet special fren :)

I send her a b'day msg juz nw at 8 plus and she thought that tis year I forget abt it as i'm usually the 1st few to msg her every year.. I nv actually thought that she would rem that i'm always the 1st few to wish her and she even thought that i forget abt it.. How could I have forget abt it, i'll nv forget abt it.. Ever since de 1st day i noe her, 1st feb 1986 is alreadi saved in my memory and it could nt be deleted anymore..

I did send a b'day card to your house, i hope u'll received it and u'll like it.. Tis year i choose to do smth different and that is to send wishes to u via post ! Eventually i'm still the 1st few to wish u, as i wrote the wishes on 28th jan and i send de card out on 29th jan so i'm still the 1st :) hahahaha.. And i will be the last to wish u also later like wad i've told you juz nw over the smses . No matter wad happen, u noe that whenever u nid me i'll always be there for you :) I hope nth will change between us, i'm happy at least we stil sms n msn each other and will find time to meet each other.. Thank for everything for all this year, i appreciate u, nee :)

你不需要再跟別人去爭奇鬥艷在我心裡你永遠是最美的夏天
不管季節怎麼變　我都會在你身邊愛你聽你把你給寵上天

16/11/10

2010-11-16T00:30:00.001+08:00

Updates will be made soon :) Recently been busy wif stuff :) PEACE

有時候

2010-11-03T12:51:00.006+08:00

有時候，莫名的心情不好，不想和任何人說話，只想一個人靜靜的發呆。有時候，突然覺得心情煩躁，看什麼都覺得不舒服，心裏悶的發慌，拼命想尋找一個出口。有時候，發現身邊的人都不瞭解自己，面對著身邊的人，突然覺得說不出話。有時候，感覺自己與世界格格不入，曾經一直堅持的東西一夜間面目全非。有時候，突然很想逃離現在的生活，想不顧一切收拾自己簡單的行李去流浪。有時候，別人突然對你說，我覺得你變了，然後自己開始百感交集。有時候，希望時間為自己停下，做完己還沒來得及做的事情。有時候，想一個人躲起來脆弱，不願別人看到自己的傷口。有時候，突然很想哭，卻難過的哭不出來。有時候，夜深人靜，突然覺得不是睡不著，而是固執地不想睡。

有時候，走過熟悉的街角，看到熟悉的背影，突然就想起一個人的臉。有時候，明明自己心裏有很多話要說，卻不知道怎樣表達。有時候，覺得自己擁有著整個世界，一瞬間卻又覺得自己其實一無所有。真的只是有時候，明明自己身邊很多朋友，卻依然覺得孤單。有時候，很想放縱自己，希望自己痛痛快快歇斯底里的發一次瘋。

有時候，突然找不到自己，把自己丟的無影無蹤。有時候，心裏突然冒出一種厭倦的情緒，覺得自己很累很累。有時候，看不到自己未來的樣子，迷茫的不知所措。有時候，發現自己一夜之間長大了。
有時候，聽到一首歌，就會突然想起一個人。有時候，希望能找個人好好疼愛自己，渴望一種安全感。可當那個可以疼你的人出現的時候，你卻偏執地退隱。有時候，別人誤解了自己有口無心的一句話，心裏鬱悶的發慌。

有時候，被別人傷害，嘴上講沒事，其實心裏難過的要死。有時候，常常在回憶裏掙扎，有很多過去無法釋懷。有時候，很容易感動別人的關懷，有時候卻麻木的像個笨蛋。有時候，看著時間一點點流逝，任憑歎息，自己卻無能為力。

其實，有時候，真的會想這麼多。跟朋友裝沉默，跟陌生人講心裏話。對於在乎你的，不想讓他們擔心，有時候，沒有消息就是一種好消息。其實，很想說“我很好”，或許是昧著心說謊，也只是想把最燦爛的一面，

丟了自己，要記得撿回來。

27/9/10

2010-09-27T11:53:00.003+08:00

我不知道現在的心情是什麼...

總是隔了很久才打日記總是隔了許久才領悟某些事情，我們總是隔了很久以後才記得該去喜歡自己.. 想把自己關起來一陣子去沈澱一下最近的喜歡和不喜歡..

沒什麼事情要特別去做，只是想著有沒有機會去牽起某雙手.. 好像對於這世界又感到冷漠了，這極端的性格.. 簡單的過其實很困難，像是快樂是種感覺卻很難去達到

我不要你走我不想放手却又不能够奢求同情的温柔你可以自由我愿意承受把昨天留给我

爱情 ?

2010-09-06T23:02:00.001+08:00

若不是因为爱着你怎么会夜深还没睡意
每个念头都关於你我想你想你好想你

若不是因为爱着你怎会有不安的情绪
每个莫名的日子里我想你想你好想你

爱是折磨人的东西却又舍不得这样放弃
不停揣测你的心里可有我姓名

爱是我唯一的秘密让人心碎却又着迷
无论是用什么言语只会(只会)思念你

若不是因为爱着你怎会不经意就叹息
有种不完整的心情爱你爱你(爱着你)

3/9/10

2010-09-03T13:07:00.002+08:00

I dunnoe wad's wrong with me.. Out of sudden, i feel soo empty.. My heart seems so empty.. I dun like tis feeling.. I have no mood to do anything and i just wan to talk to someone right now, or i just need some accompany.. I start to miss her already, i need time again to be back to normal.. I know she had reach hm alreadi, and i also hope she could online soon..

走不過的就停擺在那裏，逃不過的又不認命只想輸給自己卻贏不了自己。當你看著眼前的無底洞許久只會越感好奇隨時都會往下墜，而你又怪誰? 我們一直在人生中尋找太多答案，而當我們要到了這些所謂的答案，是妳想聽見的看見的嗎? 還是結局是哭喪著臉笑自己這些年來這麼愚蠢可悲的盲目追求那些自找麻煩的枷鎖，卻是早已是分裂成灰的結。

怕過於轟烈嗎?還是過度沉靜?

30/8/10

2010-08-30T00:32:00.003+08:00

Days are getting realli lesser n lesser each days.. She'll be headin back to tw in 5 days time.. At 1st was 2 days in sg but nw it extend to another 8 days more.. I do have more time to spend wif her and bring her ard n i'm even more glad that my dad sae he want to treat her n cash for dinner.. Coz it create another chance for me to be wif her..

There is good and bad when she stay longer in sg.. Good thing is I'll be able to spend more time wif her, bad thing is when she leave sg it'll be hard for me as those moments spend are too much.. Her flight is on fri morning 7am and i guess she will be at the airport at 5am, mostly i will be sending her and i guess i will be stayin overnight at the airport on thur night.. In this case, i'll be on time to send her off.. I guess my mood will drop totally when she leave that day, sorry if i get real moody ! After she leave, weekends i throw myself back to work.. This is the same old way to keep myself busy again .. I dunnoe hw to describe my feelin toward her, the feeling towards her is not like the same feelin toward Nee.. But to me she is still important but the feelin is just diff.. If nee is 1st, i guess she will be 2nd..

LuLu @ Sentosa wif Merlion

Next will be Cash

Luckly she dun have my blog link and pray she will nv have it coz all this stuff are nt meant for her to see.. I stil wanna be in contact wif her and dun wanna lose her..

我寂寞寂寞就好這時候誰都別來安慰擁抱

24/8/10

2010-08-24T10:21:00.004+08:00

寂寞寂寞就好

還是原來那個我不過撂掉幾公升淚所以變瘦
對著鏡子我承諾遲早我會換這張臉應對笑容
不算什麼愛錯就愛錯早點認錯早一點解脫

我寂寞寂寞就好這時候誰都別來安慰擁抱
就讓我一個人去痛到受不了傷到快瘋掉死不了就還好
我寂寞寂寞就好你真的不用來我回憶裡微笑
我就不相信我會笨到忘不了賴著不放掉人本來就寂寞的
借來的都該還掉我總會把你戒掉

還是原來那個你是我自己做夢你又改變什麼
再多的愛也沒用每個人有每個人的業障因果
會有什麼什麼都沒有早點看破才看的見以後

我寂寞寂寞就好這時候誰都別來安慰擁抱
就讓我一個人去痛到受不了傷到快瘋掉死不了就還好
我寂寞寂寞就好你真的不用來我回憶裡微笑
我就不相信我會笨到忘不了
賴著不放掉人本來就寂寞的我總會把你戒掉

28/7/10

2010-07-28T20:15:00.005+08:00

Days are gettin lesser each days.. I left wif 2 more days at work.. Bth weekends off, so i will enjoy my off day from sat all de way till 6th aug.. Yest went down-hill wif lulu and kaze for steamboat dinner.. Good dinner and great chat ! I wan more gatherin wif OBT peepo like 小妞，小琪，小眼，kai ning, LuLu,小柚 and more to list.. Yest manage to gif 小眼 a belated b'day surprise :)) Yest did a presentation for OBT staff and i did kind of hold back the thing i wanna sae, as i noe once i sae all out, i wil be emotional and that it...

Recently follow quite a few days of program for 静修女中, it's a gal sch.. Before i follow the program, some of my colleagues told me quite alot of them are abit bimbo ! Some of them are abit bimbo and there are some that are quite pretty n sweet too hahaha.. And when they noe or hear from someone that i'm actually not Taiwanese and i'm from Singapore, all of them just like come to me and: Ah dang 你是新加坡人啊？And then they will continue to ask n ask.. Today 1 of them even ask me: Do singapore haf handsome guys ? Hahaha.. Today when we are doing 1 activities like giving everyone a hi 5 or say thank to each other, lots of them are like Ah dang ah dang and they hi 5 till damn high.. I was like abit shocked coz they soo high.. When they are about to leave, for those that will in my group came n ask me ah dang可以跟你拍照吗？I'm like:可以阿.. Some of them ask for my msn n FB and 1 even ask me for my phone no ? I'm like phone no ?? In de end, i gif msn n my FB name coz phone no, abit weird ahh for me haa.. B4 they leave, 1 gal came n ask me ah dang：可以拍你吗？ I'm like: 拍我？ And she sae ya, can i haf ur individual pic? I'm like ohh okay can.. Feel kind of weird when she ask me that haaa.. And when they leave usually all of us will stand near the door n sae bye to them and i did that too, for today all of them came to me and like ah dang ah dang bye bye and all gif me hi 5 or hi 10 again ! Out of sudden i feel like i'm like star hahaha.. All of them are very 热情 and i do enjoy the lesson today and last week alot :) Tml wil be my last day of followin program, may it be a great wan :))

Yest i guess i do smth silly again when i went out wif her.. Yest when we will crossing the road, she drop something on the road and it roll into the middle of the road, and when i saw that i straight away went out and pick up the stuff for her and I did not even think twice whether is there any car or wad ? When she saw me went out to pick her stuff, she shouted ah dang(AD) 小心车！And when i pass her the stuff, she was like 你要小心啦，有车！I'm like 没关系 :) Yest I bought 1 small bottle and she asked me: why u buy this bottle or container? I'm like ohhh i intend to put stuff.. And i bought it coz i wanna put stuff and gif it to her b4 i leave.. She also ask me: so did u use ur material to make card that u bought that time ? I'm like ohhh stil doing and actually i alreadi make hers le.. And she sae next yr she wil come sg :)

Days r super near but stil pray for me that everything will go smoothly for the few days i left here :))

哭了又哭，想了又想看了又看聽了又聽說了又說, 最後還是輸給了自己..

15/7/10

2010-07-15T19:01:00.003+08:00

Times flies again, nw it is alreadi 15th of july.. Currently i onli left like 16 more days to end of july as i will stop workin by end of july and de rest will be my off day.. The days are like near for me to head back to sg but I have a confuse feeling.. The feeling is soo weird, basically it's just confuse !

Yest went to a night-market but i dunnoe where is it hahaha.. Coz it is zhao hui dat bring me,Lulu and 2 of the america interns.. I bought a cap at the night market too and i like it & LOVE it hahahaha..

Yest night was a gd night for me too.. Manage to chat wif her and get to noe stuff like wad is the 1st impression that i give her n more.. She told me that the 1st time she saw me at de hostel in the room, she felt that i was unfriendly & cool and i give ppl de feelin that dun come and disturb me.. N she sae actually she intend or thinking to come like sae hi or chat wif me but i was like playin wif my NDS n i'm like cool & unfriendly again ! When she told me yest i'm like hahaha serious ah ? Dan she sae yesh, u're like soo unfriendly n cool cool ! I told her, tis is nt the 1st time ppl sae dat.. Dan the 2nd time when we met at de kayakin events, she felt diff as i volunteer to kayak wif her when i noe dat no one like wan to kayak wif her and she sae i was more friendly and nt soo cool anymore.. And till then de whole impression just change hahaha.. And she sae at the kayakin events, i was the 2nd person that make her feel warm or warm-hearted :)

After the nightmarket, we went back to office to get our stuff.. And bth of us walk back to hostel together, and bth of us chat again.. I was glad dat we kind of chat abt lots of stuff, and the feeling is gd.. Told alicia regardin some other stuff too.. B4 i leave i will get her some stuff and i also get some stuff to make like small cards too :)

Tml onwards to sun, i wil not be able to online as i will be helpin out in an 3days 2 night camp ! Maybe sun i might online, if not then have to wait till mon alreadi.. I guess that shld be all for today.. Stil pray for me that everything wil go smoothly :) Byee peepo and wil try to blog more :)

心臟是一座有兩間臥室的房子。一間住著痛苦，另一間住著歡樂。人不能笑得太響，否則笑聲會吵醒隔壁房間的痛苦..

4/7/10

2010-07-04T15:35:00.006+08:00

It already July ! So it means i onli left wif 1 months..Very soon i wil be back hm, back to where i belong ever since i was born hahaha.. I had been doin well over here, thing had been doing quite well for me.. Get to noe alot of gd frens and great colleagues like: LuLu, 小眼，Kai Ning, 小妞，小琪 and more.. No matter whether is it in office,during program or after work, it is always so nice..

I noe dat when i leave, for sure I will miss them all alot but there is 1 particular person that i will realli miss her.. I guess even if i'm back at sg i will stil miss her for certain period of time.. Even though bth of us just get to noe each other for 2 weeks but bth of us get along well like as if we noe each other for mths.. Hmm, i guess when back to sg, i need time to adjust back everything, maybe including her too.. I'm nt sure will i keep visiting taiwan becoz of her or will i work n work just to save more $ in order to go taiwan to visit her n all.. I dunnoe and i haf no ideas of it, thing are just hard to predict but i noe that i still do wanna keep in contact wif her n of coz those OBT staff like 小眼，Kai Ning, 小妞，小琪..

3 of us trying to pose or advertise for our food & Drinks !

LuLu wif all those cream all over her face n credit to me :p

Smile :)

Well, i guess it shld be all for today.. Wil try to blog and update more soon :) Stil pray for me dat everything wil be smoothly :) Byee peepo !

其实很简单, 其实很自然

29/6/10

2010-06-29T15:00:00.002+08:00

Just 1 more days n it wil be end of june and start of july and I left wif ard 37 days at taiwan.. I been lookin forward for the days to come as i realli miss sg alot.. Miss my fren, my family and everything :) I noe i wil be as busy like last time when i head back sg, and my life wil be de same like juz netball, sch n work and of coz hang out wif all my dear fren..

Yest whole day in office, and 2 meetin to attend.. Office is fun as i keep disturb n play wif xiao qi n xiao niu.. Bth of them juz joker n damn funny, if office without them wil be boring coz no one for me to disturb hahahaha.. And all of us plan 1 day to go out together to eat n haf fun :)

Recently get to noe someone, and kind of told bro abt it.. I dunnoe hw to sae de feelin towards her, I wil nt sae i like her but i would like or hope to noe more abt her n all.. The way bth of us get to noe each other it kind of funny i guess esp the 1st time we met each other n i dun rem it at all hahahaha.. Some of my fren alreadi noe like hw i get to noe her n all le but i dun wish to type it here .. Yest went out wif OBT staff for Ktvin session and it great ! She went as well and bth of us went together in a same car.. We also chat abt stuff and bth of us gt a bet.. Next yr wil be de deadline of the bet hahahaha.. N wil ask my mum to help me to get smth from sg dan i pass it to her :)

Currently right nw, i wil nt do anything.. Juz be fren, it good that i had a overseas fren :) I just left wif ard 37 days in taiwan and i guess it would be hard for me if i realli fall for her as i wil nt have much time to like spend wif her or ask her out, and i guess I wil be more emo when i head back to sg if i realli go all de way out for her, so rather be fren ba . & next time when i go taiwan, can look for her and keep in contact :) It would be better tis way !

也许你不是我的爱你却又该割舍但它也可能是我们的缘分

21/6/10

2010-06-21T20:38:00.004+08:00

Time realli pass very fast and nw de dates is alreadi 21st june and it means i left wif less dan 50 days and i will be gg back to sg.. Juz finish europe sch camp on fri and i went to extend my visa on fri morning, afternoon head to Long men to help out an kayakin event held by OBT.. On fri night get to slp at ard 11 plus and i gt to wake up at 5.30am the followin day.. I am soo tired for the past few days, lack of slp n tired ! On 16 and 17th i onli get to slp ard ard 12 plus or 1 plus n followin day nid to wake up early again.. Yest was my off day so i slp till 10 plus but i guess stil nt enough coz i'm stil tired nw hahahaha..

More program for me to attend n busy days for me.. Nw in mind i gt alot of stuff to buy, like all those shirts, shoes n cap n all.. Chat wif meishi yest, and surprisingly coach stil rem me and ask abt me like when am i cumin back n all.. N RP nball team r gg for Malaysia for some competition on 2nd aug and coach wanna put me in the name list if i'm back, another surprise again ! I ask meishi, nw the team nt enough player ah, hw cum wanna put me in the name-list and meishi told me it SECRET ! haaaa.. But i guess, i will still go back for trainin n all when i'm back durin aug .. So i wil stil be as busy like last time, nt much changes hahaha..

Still count down for me peepo, even though day r near but still count down n pray for me that everything will be smoothly :) Miss ya peepo :)

可不可以买你的不快乐只是想陪你吃饭看你笑笑听你最近好不好

7/6/10

2010-06-07T19:14:00.004+08:00

Currently nw at Long Tan office.. Back here for almost a week alreadi, everything here stil de same.. Work is okay, helping out programs, packing stuff and doin some office job haaa.. 16 to 18 i wil be away for 3 days camp, it will be a Europe sch camp... I guess i can speak english again hahaha.. Miss speaking english at some point of time haa.. Tml wil help out an program as well, hope weather will be gd n everything wil be smooth as well...

More work n programs for me to do and follow, it means i wil be more busy n time wil pass faster ! hahaha.. That de main thing that i like the most and i guess all my fren like it too.. Soo many stuff is waitin for me durin aug, can't wait to go back sg :)

Feel glad n happie that stil manage to FB her and she stil reply n all.. Currently i also dunnoe wad i wil do or wad but juz hope that currently nw thing stil can maintain like wad it is nw.. :)

That shld be all for nw, wil try to blog more if possible :) Stil pray and countdown for me :)

我没有任何防备　没方向到处地追

31/5/10

2010-05-31T14:58:00.004+08:00

Last day of May, and last day at hua lian too.. Tml wil be headin back to Long tan head-quarters.. I noe i wil miss workin at hua lian & miss de ppl here.. Colleagues here r all very nice n funny, sometime they realli like entertain me durin workin hours dat make work nt soo boring :) I can stil rem on 27th may when we havin our steamboat at night, it was very fun and i was very full too becoz xiao le n rest keep place food in my bowl and keep sae: 新加坡来的要吃多一点啦 ! N after eatin we also play some game n Jun chen lost ard 3 times and his punishment is 弹额头 ! Everything end ard 1.30am n i was so full dat i could nt realli slp n followin day i am mornin shift ! But it was a fun day :)

Yest i call home, talk to mum for ard 20 minutes.. Mum told me abt their planning to come taiwan n all, and of coz i told her how she could plan their days in taiwan so that i would be able to head to taipei to find them all this.. Hopefully mum, sis, ah yi n maybe dad will be able to come durin aug :) N mum told me dat they might make a new cupboard for me and she told me roughly how de design would be n told her roughly wad i wan also.. N when de price is okay n there wil be slight changes for my room .. Also asked hw everything at hm n my relative, manage to hear some gd n bad news but well hope everything wil be fine for my loves wan :)

Surprisingly today i receive a msg at FB ! I was kind of shock when i see dat but i was realli happie to see dat.. I did like intend to wrote on her Fb wall, but i juz dun dare i guess.. I guess i'm juz afraid of wad might be de reply n all.. Able to receive her msg at fb is realli great n i'm contented :)

That all for 2day, and i wil try to blog more when i'm back at long tan n stil i juz cannot wait for end of july and aug to come :) Stil pls pray for me and hope everything will be smooth and well :)

只要你喜欢不管有多难拼了命为你弄来

说了再见

2010-05-23T20:38:00.004+08:00

天凉了雨下了你走了清楚了我爱的遗失了落叶飘在湖面上睡着了
想要放放不掉泪在飘你看看你看看不到
我假装过去不重要却发现自己办不到

说了再见才发现再也见不到我不能就这样失去你的微笑
说了再见才发现再也见不到能不能就这样忍着痛泪不掉

你的笑你的好脑海里一直在绕我的手忘不了你手的温度
心碎了一地捡不回从前的心跳身陷过去我无力逃跑

Dear frens, i'm fine dun worry.. Juz feel that tis's kind of meaningful and i kind of like it dat y i post it.. Dang is nt emoin at taiwan so dun worry hahaha.. :D Continue to pray & count down for me.. :)

Hua Lian

2010-05-22T20:44:00.002+08:00

I noe i had nt been bloggin for quite sometime, reason is no time, no idea wad to blog ! Currently nw i am at Hua Lian but soon i wil be back to Long Tan.. Start of June i wil be back at Long Tan and if u happen to count, i had alreadi been at taiwan for soon to 1 mth.. Tat means i left wif ard 2 mths or more to go.. When it is ella b'day i left wif 1 mth plus.. Basically tis is hw i count de days i left here.. Workin at hua lian is okay, nt bad.. The colleagues here r nice n fun, enjoy workin wif them although sometime work can be abit bored as when there is no guest coming in recreational club dat means i haf nth much to do.. So mostly i wil try to find thing to do by askin my colleagues, u nid me to help u think of stuff ? At least by helpin them to think of stuff, make me feel occupied :)

Back to Long tan, i guess more stuff r up for me to do.. But well, there is gd n bad.. Good is at least i haf stuff to do to make me occupied n days wil pass faster, bad is maybe i wil be tired but well, i gonna endure it n soon everything wil end ...

Can't wait to go back to sg soon coz lots of gatherin comin up for me to gather wif my dear frens n of coz my family, my parents, my relative n my dear cousin dog coco :) If i'm nt wrong or wad, by end of july i wil end work, n aug mostly i wil haf ard 4 to 6 days to tour ard taiwan.. But still count down for me n do pray for me dat everything wil go smoothly :)

是自由的吧，縹緲的情感。

Taiwan

2010-04-30T21:02:00.003+08:00

Right nw i'm at OBT office doing some blogging n i dunnoe will i be bloggin much ma or ? It depend as well, everything is here is fine and i'm tryin to adapt to thing here.. Hopefully i can adapt soon n thing will be well i guess :)

I wil realli try to online more as internet connection is kind of limited and i had to go to office n do stuff or online as onli office haf internet connection.. Pls Bless & pray for me and i guess thing wil be fine for me :)

I realli look forward to aug to head to home :)

Short & Simple moments (26/4/10)

2010-04-26T13:49:00.002+08:00

Thank for the call :) It seriously brighten up my night b4 i slp.. Ard 12 plus, i was gettin ready to slp n all n my fone ring.. Tis ringtone dun ring so often n when I saw it was her, she called.. At dat point i was thinkin, y she call at tis time, is dere anything or wad ? I answer it: n de 1st thing she ask me was: Do u noe who am i ? I was like Huei Nee uh, n she was like hw cum u noe it me.. The reason she ask coz she did nt use her own fone to call, she use her hse fone to call n i guess she forget dat i gt her hse no..

She start askin me haf i pack my stuff n hw everything ? We chat abt other stuff as well.. And ask each other wad r we doing nw n i guess 1 of de thing dat make me like kind of happy is when i ask her wad is she doin nw, she replied: ermm nw chattin wif u lo.. I'm like okokay n like kind of smilin to myself haaa.. Get to noe wad or hw is she doin recently n joke ard as well.. N as usual she like to disturb me wif mickey again..

Even though it was realli like a short chat but it was enough for me.. I nv dream or thought dat she like actually rem dat i leavin soon n she even make an effort to gif me a call n haf a short chat wif me even though she is busy wif her work stuff :)

谢谢(妮) 也许真的只有你能让我觉得很安全吧。。你好像有一种魔力，能让我感到很安心，好像一部分的烦恼都可以被抛到外太空。。就很像歌词说的一样：当你终于走到我的面前完成所有的画面就算苦辣酸甜尝过一遍只剩喜悦。。

但愿我能对着你说你多独特，无可取代的你在我心目中..

25/4/10

2010-04-25T00:37:00.004+08:00

Nw de dates is 25/4/10, so it means dat i'm leavin soon.. Frankly speakin, i dun feel like leavin n my mind is like totally blank for it..

Juz came back from de 5 days camp n it was fun.. I kind of enjoy de camp n learn lots of thing from de whole camp n instructor Nat :) She is a great instructor and if possible i would wan to learn more thing from her :)

Actually i gt alot of thing to write or type here but i juz dunnoe hw shld i start.. Well, i guess dan forget abt it ba, til i noe hw i wanna start dan i shall come back here again.. My mood is nt tat stable recently, sad to sae..

Treasure n Appreciate it forever (United)

快樂真的可以很簡單不是嗎? 但快樂下一秒也是痛苦, 事情越純粹越好,通常複雜幾乎都是人為的因素,那些簡單快樂的記憶和當下是值得被留念, 被記得, 被收藏和記錄的。我苦笑了，嘴角真的有抽動，臉上真的出現稱得上苦字笑容的那種.

最喜歡，但也最痛

18/4/10

2010-04-18T23:16:00.007+08:00

S.H.E concert was great ! I like it to de max and i enjoy it alot alot :) S.H.E is the One 愛而為一新加坡演唱會赞啦！棒棒棒.. U guys realli missed out smth great if u guys did nt manage to go for it haaa.. Maybe some might feel the prev wan is better or wad, but for me as long is S.H.E concert i will love it and will like those stuff that they tried out :)

Today was another day wif dear laopo as well :) Auto session at PS, there was alot of ppl n it was realli hot & humid !! But stil manage to get their autograph, shake hand n talk to dear laopo ! Manage to chat or talk wif 3 of them and they replied.. Speak to Ella n told her: Ella 辛苦你了，昨晚的演唱会很捧，加油！ Ella replied me: 不会啦，你们也是辛苦了(smile at me) 好，谢谢你，掰掰 she is forever soo nice n sweet :) Selina also did reply n her smile is sweet also but she is also very gentle haa.. Hebe also did reply me n when i wave bye to her, she look at me, smile n wave also :)) Sooo happie, happie, happie :))

In love or in r/s maybe to describe me using a song i tink 爱到疯癫 quite suit me.. 爱到疯癫苦的酸的无所谓, 爱到疯癫伤了痛了都没感觉你要我等你到哪个期限我都奉陪你要我再赔上多少尊严我都奉陪.. Recently i chat wif shrawn regardin like some personal stuff, he told me dat he once wait for 1 gal for like 3 hrs or 4 hrs plus, he was like realli pissed off n kind of annoyed even though dat was de gal dat he like .. I was like ohh but for me waited like 4 hrs or 5 hrs b4 ehh, n i was nt angry or fed up or pissed at all when she come ! Shrawn was like: crazy ah u ! Maybe i realli 爱到疯癫..

Tml will be camp day ! No phone n lappy access :( Sms me if gt impt stuff to tell me, i wil reply on fri evenin when i can use my fone.. If nt juz FB me, i will also check on fri evenin :) Byee peepo n gd night

不肯撕去的昨天陪着我还在等谁

17/4/10

2010-04-17T11:59:00.003+08:00

Today is a special day as 2day will be S.H.E is the One 愛而為一新加坡演唱會 !! I had been waitin for tis for soo long n finally it here ~ Damn excited n super lookin forward to it.. My dear ella, hebe & selina :)))))

Yest was quite great as well ! Unexpected I chat wif J.. Bth of us chat n kind of update each other wif our stuff ! I guess, it shld be a great chat overall :) N next mon to fri, i have no access to my phone at all due to my camp ! Gosh, i hope i will be able to last hahahahaha.. Camp shld be ok for me but de part that i tink no phone, i'm like huh ~ Well dat shld be all for 2day as i'm meetin bestie pearline soon hahahaha.. Woohoo i'm soo excited nw hahahaha !!!

可是爱就对了遇到下一个爱上就爱了痛苦或快乐都是我的

8/4/10

2010-04-08T23:59:00.004+08:00

Recently my mood had not been gd ! I haf no idea y as well, I become very moody at some point of times and my temper get worse as well.. Moody moody moody is all i can sae nw ..

Out of sudden tis person become like so impt to me, like realli impt.. It like my mind is thinkin of her, almost everything is abt her.. I easily get fed up, easily be happy, easily be moody, i guess it coz of her.. Seriously oh gosh, u muz be kiddin me like seriously ! This shld nt be happenin at tis point of time :( I will nt like sae who is she or wad, I guess i wil keep it as secret coz tis realli can't be reveal .. Sorry frens, even though u're my close or best fren i wil nt sae at all due to many reasons .. U guys can guess n guess n asked me abt it but stil i wil nt sae anything to it.. Well, maybe i wil onli sae it to 1 or 2 person juz to share wif them coz at some point of time, i realli could nt take it anymore..

Can 28thapr be far away ? Like be at 28thapr 2011 and nt 2010 !! My mood get even worse when i noe tis date is like soo near, like realli near ! I wan 17th n 18th apr to come soon for my S.H.E but nt 28th apr !! I noe tis shld nt be de way i shld behave or wadeva BUT i'm like seriously ..... It realli affect me in someways, i dunnoe y or like wad causes it ! I noe n guess dat i would be able to adapt to the area over dere but i guess it juz de feelin of leavin all ur loves wan over here for 4 mths, it seems short but u juz haf to tink dat u can't see them in real face to face for like durin de period of time.. Maybe when i'm dere, i dun even haf de time to tink abt all tis thing coz i might be too busy wif stuff or be too tired everyday after work n doing report ! I would wan to enjoy like realli enjoy wif my fren b4 i head for attachment :))

心好空像没温度的气球我的灵魂困在回忆中动也不能动...

改变？

2010-03-30T14:16:00.003+08:00

不要想著去改變誰，誰也不會為了誰去改變，你的不同只是應付只是討好短時間有起色，但不長久做爛了會顯得噁心... 每次往前一步都很吃力，同样的每次冷靜一次都消耗很多時间.. 这都够了吧, 应该慢慢的停下来了..

當我們都笑的開心自然就顯得天真無邪，但如果那是你未曾看懂的表情，代表有種悲傷也已經走到末路難以遮掩的程度了, 听起来还蛮可悲的吧 ? 愛這東西沒有原則，太難掌控太容易失控，像是那些狀況不是我們能預設的了吧？痛苦是短暫的，但客觀的說是需要一點時間去适应一彻的一彻 ...

下雨天太容易往下掉, 太容易胡思亂想, 太容易躲進黑洞, 太容易想念, 太容易感性, 太容易哭泣, 太容易懦弱, 太容易沈默....

來來回回的總是令人特別沮喪，好像先前的都沒有發生過一樣...

27/3/10

2010-03-27T23:27:00.004+08:00

My dear blog, i am comin back to u nw.. I guess, u're de only place dat i would come here sae everything when i realli needed and consider i'm nt lazy to type all tis thing out..

I met up wif her 2day :) I noe quite alot of ppl might be thinkin hw come u're meetin her n why ? The reason is juz simple, I wanna met up wif her, have a gd chat, see her, noe hw is she doing n all b4 i leave for attachment.. Maybe alot of ppl are worried abt me meetin her coz it might nt be good to me.. But nt to worry i'm fine, betta dan last time if happen to compare :)

But well, when i was waitin for her my heart beat was like soo fast, i could nt even control it.. But when she reached, i'm like calm.. I'm nt gg to realli sae or elaborate everything here as i noe some ppl haf my blog-link..I dun wan to let others dat r nt close wif me to noe abt thing dat is kind of personal to me.. So i wil update my close fren regardin the whole issue..

I enjoy de whole chattin session and it was a great wan, i realli enjoy every moments of that.. We chat abt lots of thing, maybe get to noe abt each other slightly even more.. I stil could nt figure out why did she ask me that question ? It make me stunned for at least 3 secs b4 i ans dat question.. De more she ask, de more i do not noe hw to ans her haha.. She always surprise me wif stuff dat i nv expect from her.. One of the thing dat make me realli happie n contented is when i pass her an gift dat i buy from jap, she accept it ! She did nt sae no or dun wan.. She accept it but stil gif me de face like wad is it or did u anyhw spend $ again ? I gave her a 平安符 or like may all your wishes come true de 符 for her.. I did nt expect her to like use it straight away, she juz took it out n see and she juz like put or tied it on her phone as like accessories or ... At dat point of time, i realli feel very contented, for me that like enough, it more than enough :) I hope de 符 will realli bless her n may everything she wish come true..

I do not hope or wish for anything and I told myself dat dun think soo much keep 灌输 myself n tell myself dat No No No, stop ! 朋友们，我很好我没有事！现在的我应该是心满意足了，现在都很好。。谢谢（妮）

谢谢你，完整所有的画面，让一彻都变的甜美，也让一彻都好像只有喜悦。。

15/3/10

2010-03-15T13:34:00.002+08:00

It a mixture feelin again.. Like stuck ! Alittle bit of this n dat, sometime u feel so helpless n it keep bother u when this issue happen n happen again.. It affect everything u do, ur mood n just everything.. It make u soo tired dan u dun wan bother abt it anymore n just wan to put it aside n see hw thing will be by it own ..

Anyway on fri, i met up wif 3 different grps of people.. I went like 3 to 4 places in an day and all is different area.. Afternoon i went to kovan to cut my hair, after that i head to bukit panjang to meet julia to pass her smth n chat wif her awhile, then i head to AMK to meet up wif ah ju n ah oon.. We slack at MOS burger, chat n disturb each other, then after that i head to PS to meetup wif pearline.. Ever area i head to is like far from each, n it took me like at least 1 hr to reach another places like kovan to bukit panjang n then to AMK ! Even my ipod went off on me, when i was at bukit panjang waitin for Julia, it went low batt.. I was like gosh, i stil have another journey to go ehh ! lucky i gt my fone, n sms start to come in as well, enterainment for de journey to AMK hahahah :p

I can sense n feel that, my fren care for me n i realli, seriously appreciate it n of coz glad to have them :) I guess, one of their worries is afraid that i might end up get hurt again.. That 1 of my own worries as well, de feelin is realli bad n worse.. I had been in dere for few times and it took me long to get out of dat.. Recently quite a few of my fren had been tellin me: J look like her, her smile look like her n de feelin is abit dere.. Tis cause me to think is it the reason that make me wanna noe more abt her or ?

I had been tellin myself nt to click on her, refrain from doing that.. Actually wad i can do is delete her away but i dun bear too.. I dunnoe is it that i am too use to see her name poppin out, juz like when my inbox sms are gone, i feel weird n empty coz whenever i went to my inbox, her name always appear as i did nt delete away her sms even though i did nt browse thru it for quite sometime.. Well, nw all de sms is gone, so shall see hw it goes as time passes :)

I have an new name recently: Silly Dang Dang :) Tis wan given by J.. I realise i'll fall in more deep when u use silly on me.. I once fall for it b4 n it real deep, but when it gone, I drop totally

爱究竟有多累有多美，伤悲的伤悲的很绝对..

12/3/10

2010-03-12T10:21:00.005+08:00

I'm back from my japan trip ! 7 days at japan was fun and freezin cold hahaha.. The weather dere was realli cold.. I enjoy the trip alot and i bought alot of thing back, spent all my money hahahaha.. I dunnoe wad to type abt my jap trip le ehh, coz if type dan is like damn freakin long and i'm kind of lazy also hahaha so head my FB to see my pic n video.. Pic is uploaded alreadi, slowly will be up as well

On wed, bro n jiemin came to my hse for dao huey n carrot cake n i wanted to pass them their gift also hahahaha.. It was a fun fun day, we chat n chat n then juz disturb each other.. After that we went to town area to slack, haf coffee, shop ard, had dinner n went movie together.. Ah oon sleep durin de movie and she stil dare to tell me i nv sleep, i onli in de wonderland .. I was like -_-' I enjoy de meetup soo more of that pls hahahah :)

When bro came my hse, she told me smth like u nv go online ah ? I was like no ah, wad happen ? In my heart i was thinkin, what could it be ? In de end i asked her, n i was right.. I seriously did nt expect that ... I was kind of affected at that point of time .. N i noe Bro was kind of worried as well ba, coz i alreadi decided to noe more abt the other person (J) n nw she is like back n this might affect me again ! At this moment, i manage to noe more abt the other person (J)and i was glad dat we manage to chat abt our personal stuff :) I do not wish to think abt any stuff nw, wil juz let thing be de way hw it should be or hw fate wan it to be ? Nth i could change too..

Ltr mostly will be meetin J to pass her stuff, n i enjoy yest chat wif her :) N i will be meetin her soon b4 i leave for my attachment, i dunnoe hw thing will turn out but shall see hw ba !

该怎么办，你不简单但我就爱。。

2th mar

2010-03-02T23:38:00.007+08:00

Okay i'm back to blogging again ! If nt tat ah oon sae my blog like dead liao, no compo lo unlike hers like soo exciting man hahahhaha..

Last fri went out wif alicia,jiemin, julin & aj Bro ! Went marina barrage to picnic n also gif that ah ju surprise hahaha.. The events will created by me :) 1st is wanna luo hei dan in de end i plan everything.. Reason for Marina barrage is, my aj bro always wanted to head there to see see or picnic so that is de reason y it is Marina barrage.. N then in de end we put Julin surprise on dat as well, suppose her another surprise is on sat but she sae she nt free so we put everything on fri instead ! luckly it was a great surprise i guess haa.. Coz julin gt touched touched when she saw de video, cookie cake, OS shirt wif flowers n of coz de bottle of SWEET ! After MB, we went to khatib n get jiemin fav dao huey n then head back to Alicia hse for slackin session.. I tink her place is like de cosy cosy place lo, we like love to slack at her hse hahahaha :)

Marina Barrage Succeed !!

Sat afternoon meetup wif michelle & dawn to bring them to my cousin shop to do spects ! As usual, michelle is late hahahahha :p after dat dawn went off for her church ! Michelle n me head down to AMK to meet mason for lunch, b4 mason reach we went n get KOI milk tea, love it to de max hahaha :) After that we went to pepper lunch and we chat n slack for 3 hrs ! 3 of us juz sit dere n chat n maybe gossip abt ppl ard us hahahaha ! After that michelle went off, n mason n me went down to town to get movie tix.. While waitin for denyse, Shi hui n vincent, we went walkin ard n slack n chat again hahaha :) love those chattin session !

Sun is a day out wif fangan ! Went to national museum to watch the Quest for Immortality - The World of Ancient Egypt ! It was quite interesting coz i am quite interested to noe abt all those stuff hahaha.. Free admission for bth of us coz STUDENT ! Great to be a student beh hahaha :p N i gt 1 pair of new shoes from left foot.. Walk ard, slack n ate some stuff n head to airport to look for bro for la KOPI session :)

Tml i will be flyin off to JAPAN le .. 1 week of enjoy n relax time :) Byee singapore n let welcome JAPAN !! My days had been doing quite gd recently, i realli would like to noe u better :) Soo glad that i'm able to chat wif u b4 i fly off to japan :) I guess slowly i will get to noe u better, everything shall start from frens :)Hopefully able to meet up wif u when i'm back..

当你终于走到我的面前，完整所有的画面 ...

26/2/10

2010-02-26T10:07:00.002+08:00

After like ard 10 days, i'm back here bloggin once again.. I did nt mia from my blog, it just dat i'm soo tired to blog or type all those thing down alreadi.. Anyway i had been quite busy recently, busy wif alot of thing like planning for stuff and meetup wif peepo..

I think it shld be time alreadi.. It shld be de time that i shld put down everything and force or convience myself that we can still be fren afterall... Get to noe someone recently and i do not deny that i had feelin for her.. I dunnoe will thing be the same again like last time, after 3 or 4 mths and my feelin go back to her again.. I dun wanna bother anymore, i jus wanna haf fun nw and enjoy myself b4 my attachment come..

Today gonna be a gd day as i am gg marina barrage wif alicia,AJ,julin, jiemin !! Nice combination rite ? All my best n close fren are gathered together, but there are more that could nt make it 2day.. Today gonna be a gd gd day !! I gonna prepare myself nw and also waitin for someone to post de pic that we took yest :)

如果事情可以那么简单就好了。。

16/2/10

2010-02-16T00:17:00.003+08:00

After soo long, i receive tis (^-^) again.. I was soo happie when i saw dat as she had nt been sms me wif dat emotions for quite some time.. Even though i was being wake up by de sms but i guess it was worth afterall.. Sometime i realli feel that all tis feelin shld stop, if nt it will go on forever.. I noe dat it will be hard for me to forget abt her as till nw de feelin is stil dere.. That kind of feelin is always dere when there is thing related to her..

I seriously had no idea wad will happen durin de 4 mths when i'm at taiwan .. Wil it stil be de same like nw or it will change again ?

其实我很失落，但我又不想强求。。

12/2/10

2010-02-12T23:01:00.003+08:00

I had complete my year 2 at RP, so glad that all UTs are all DONE ! All finish, completed all the UTs in year 2 .. Last paper was yest, it was like HELL ! Stupid EE module, no UT review or revision dan still soo bloody hard .. Almost everyone was stunned when they saw the question, juz imagine de UT onli 1 question n is 20 MARKS !! I was like omg la, if tis question gone dat means the whole UT gone le ehhh... I spend like 10 to 15 min lookin through pre-readin n 6ps.. Luckly manage to find some ans.. Yesh ! Year 2 COMPLETED !!

Juz afew days more n it is CNY n V'day ... Bth nth special to me anyway haaa.. CNY maybe juz angbao for me that all, but almost every yr V'day is nth to me.. Sad rite but i'm used to it alreadi :) 3rd day of CNY, wil be at my hse :) Fren cumin for mahjong session n gatherin :D

At de moment, i get to rest for 2 mths but i dun tink i will be able to rest for 2 mths coz workin n netball is cuming and i nid to go back to sch to do some stuff for my IIP thingyy.. Lookin forward to mar as i'm gg overseas soon :) Gonna enjoy myself to de max :) Shop n shop n shop..

什么都好，别静下来就好。。什么都好，让我找得到事情塞满时间就好。。什么都好，不要让我发现自己其实有多想你就好。。

从？

2010-02-05T23:24:00.004+08:00

一切都从遇见你，认识你，喜欢你，爱上你。。都从这一切慢慢的开始。。

第一波：遇见你 ..
地点：动物园
日期：2006 年 3 月

第二波: 认识你
地点：动物园/夜间动物园
日期：2006 年 4 月

第三波：喜欢你
地点：莫名
日期：不知不觉 ..

第四波：爱上你
地点：莫名
日期：不知不觉

我能从头的遇见你，认识你，喜欢你，爱上你吗？一切都从头来过好吗？

晚安咯。。累了！

偶尔？

2010-02-04T23:21:00.000+08:00

如果爱是一场骇然的梦魇，哪我们何必去体会呢？生而成人的过程不是早已经被折磨了吗，为何还要执著那些令人想到就心酸碰到就疼痛的人呢？尽管用力的敲打自己的脑袋或做任何事，都还是无法敵过真正醒来崩溃后综合着交错着泪水与无力。。

虽然 "它" 只是一场不真实的梦，但它却在脑海里忽明忽灭。。偶尔会一点点痛，偶尔也会血流不止。。

3/2/10

2010-02-03T23:28:00.002+08:00

She come and go just like this.. Before i could do anything, she is gone.. Guess wad, i did silly stuff again.. She came online, i saw n i click on her but she went offline again, it happen like for twice.. My mood totally gone, and that de reason y i am blogging... After a while, she came online again and no more offline le.. I did de same old thing like i always did again, click on her,look on her dp n hope to see hw've she been and just leave the window dere without typin anything..

Why is it everytime when there is thing related to her, i will be like tis ? I'm happie to see her online coz i had nt been seein her online for quite sometime alreadi.. I guess i wil nt be sleepin so soon for 2night ..

能够遇见你认识你喜欢你爱上你感谢我每滴眼泪 ...

1/2/10

2010-02-01T23:59:00.002+08:00

Today is 1st feb and is someone b'day.. Someone dat i will nv forget abt her b'day and no matter wad happen i will still wish her :) Happie B'day to u - 妮。。祝你生日快乐，永远都幸福快乐，

Yest after i sms her, i couldn't sleep.. I worried whether wil she replied or not if she reply what wil de sms be like ? In de end i switch it to silent mode.. She did replied, i was glad :) I managed to sleep through de next morning.. I wished her almost at every area, my FB, msn and here.. I wan her to receive all de wishes on her special day.. Ever since de day i noe her and when it's her b'day, i told myself dat i wil wan to be de 1st and de last wan to wish her.. Soo i wil send her a sms when it is 12 am n i wil send 1 sms to her when it is 11.59pm.. I did it for de past 3 years but de 4th years i wil nt do it.. I once told her, durin ur b'day i confirm wil sing u a b'day songs n i did nt manage to do it for de past 2 years as once i was sick n i was havin a bad sore throat, last yr i did nt get to meet her so i send her b'day songs through sms and i told her tis is nt de live wan but next time i will sing de live wan for u .. i guess, i had no chance to do it anymore..

I will be gg taiwan for my attachment in apr.. 4 mths away and in taiwan workin.. I shld be happy rite ? But i am nt, i dunnoe y.. But dere is nth i can do nw.. that all, nitex nitex :)

* Happie B'day to u, happie b'day to u, happie b'day happie b'day, happie b'day to u :) 生日快乐- 妮 ~

28/1/10

2010-01-28T22:39:00.002+08:00

Okay, recently i had been very lazy to come type anything here.. Tis week had been turnin in late n wakin up early.. Soo tired n shag! Kayakin n kayak, it tirin but it fun though... Sat will be workin n after work party at the zoo ! Sun will be outin wif ah ju n ah oon :) Gonna shop n get stuff and RELAX :)

The days are near, and it's bothering me.. I dunnoe whether shld i anot ? I'm so afraid that i will receive another sms that make me down another few weeks.. I just wanna do smth that i had been doin it ever since i noe u, pls gif me a chance to continue doin it.. It doesn't matter even if u do not reply, just dun stop me from doin that or asked me dun do it anymore.. Yes, i admit i get to noe more ppl and maybe 1 or 2 may have attracted me but the feelin is totally diff.. After so long, no one did gif me dat feelin..

I gt to slp soon n my eye is closing soon, tml will be another day again.. Nitex nitex :)

对你好，为你痛，你却说全都没有..

21/01/10

2010-01-21T23:19:00.003+08:00

Okay i'm here to update alreadi.. Quite a handful of thing happen tis few days .. Be it good or bad, it happened anyway.. 1 of the worries dat i had kind of put down is my attachment thingy, it shld be solved and i will be able to do my thing b4 i go for attachment :) Another worries is my sis, she fell yest n hurt herself.. So nw she is at SGH n tml she will be gg operation for her shoulder or hand, hopefully after de ops her hand will be fine and she will be able to move freely :) My mum had also been very tired tis few days as she gt to head to hospital in de mornin and then back to home to do some home stuff and then head back to hospital again.. Yest went to see my sis and could see dat she is in pain as she couldn't realli move her hand.. Tml will head down to see her after sch again, hopefully..

Just nw went to have steamboat wif edmund n peeps, finally get to meet him.. Actually didn't plan to go as my sis is in hospital but luckly she is fine so i went to meet them.. Chat wif him regardin some stuff and as usual we chat abt our own stuff n happen to chat abt her again.. Edmund told me, forget abt it ba and dun think too much abt it anymore.. If possible dun wish or sms her durin her b'day too.. 2 ppl had told me de same thing alreadi n that is not to sms her durin her b'day, no nid to wish her le.. For myself, i plan to sms n wish her as usual.. I still will sms her, as a fren wishin her happy birthday, that all :)

你面无表情的嘴角像在嘲笑我的胡闹。。我告诉自己习惯就好，习惯就好。。我还在等一个人在等我得永恒告诉我爱别担心别害怕。。

就这样了。。晚安咯！

15/1/10

2010-01-15T23:50:00.003+08:00

Tml will be water based practical UT, wish me gd luck man esp on capsized drills ! Feel soo relieved after 2day sports business UT, finally all theory UT 2 all finish :) Tml after UT will be out wif best pal pearline :) Gonna enjoy myself to de max.. Recently no mood to do anything, no mood to do ppt and think for ideas, engine realli down.. Maybe is i've been focusin and work hard for de first 10 weeks n nw no more energy for the rest of 5 weeks le.. Totaly drain out :(

我怎么一夜之间被打垮了狼狈沉默放空泪光心痛。。我不能跟朋友说因为你做的事会有可能让他们觉得你是坏的。。找新的爱伪装幸福却装得更寂寞。。

Bye, gt to slp soon as tml gt to wake up early for kayakin thingy :) Gd night then ..

找不到人说心里的寂寞..

12/1/10

2010-01-12T22:46:00.008+08:00

I gt a feelin, it might be a long post.. Okay, i'm realli burnt after yest kayakin session.. It fun to kayak in the sea :) After the kayakin ard 10 of us went airport to have popeyes and also walk ard at t3, i also get my gummy bear at candy empire, OMG i'm soo addicted to it hahahaha.. I like hangin out wif my class-mates, they're a bunch of fun ppl and they usually make me laugh like nobody business :D

Tis cumin thur i will noe my result for my IIP attachment.. And i will get to know whether wil i be attach in sg or overseas.. If i'm realli gg overseas attachment, then i will be away for ard 4 to 6 months.. 4 to 6 months away from home, from my friends and family..

If i'm realli gg overseas attachment, i realli hope i can meet her b4 i leave.. I noe it will be highly impossible but stil i do hope soo.. I miss her, i realli want to know hw is she doing nw ? Is she doing well ? Nw i have no idea wad is she doin nw, I have no news abt her.. I noe that i'm suppose to forget abt her and i shld nt be typin all tis over here but i juz can't forget abt her, everywhere i go i think of her, everything i do remind me of her.. Everyday i pass by bukit batok or gombak when i go to sch n go to work.. I go to work, it remind me of her, I go night safari it remind me of her again.. I go westmall,marina sq,vivo city,lot 1, it remind me of her again.. Everytime after trainin from sch when i was takin train back hm, i will usually head to the 1st cabin n try my luck will i able to see her ? Everytime i will tell myself :forget it, she will nt take train anymore.. Someone will drive her anywhere she wanna go now.. When i go for competition, it remind me of her again.. It remind me of those sms she use to send me when i have match, it remind me of that she is always nt down when she told me she will come n support me...

So what i found someone that i admire or feel that she is my eye candy ? It does nt mean anything, they are still nt what i wanted, the feelin is different.. Maybe by gg overseas for 4 to 6 months will gif me a chance to forget abt everything..

我没有你们想象中的那么坚强。。也许是因为被伤了很深，所以在也不想再认真了。。认真了，过后得到的却是一身的伤，伤了却又没有办法恢复。。温柔好浓，记忆里浮现你的面容，心还跳动却没重逢。。

I'll try to learn to forget and continue my daily lifestyle as usual.. I will try to put everything behind..

一个人在夜里继续的奔跑，却发现在也听不到自己的心跳。。

5/1/10

2010-01-05T22:02:00.005+08:00

1st post of 2010.. I shall start with 3rd of jan (sun), i suppose to work till 6.45pm but as i'm nt feeling very well and also dere is nt much guest so i request to go off early.. okay i suppose to go off at 3pm but in de end i went down to the office wif the WDs (Julia,Pat,Michelle,Dawn) as they also finish work at 3pm too.. In de end i did nt went hm, i went AMK wif them instead hahahaa.. When i was boardin 138, dawn was like: But u're sick ! I was like ehhhh.. hahahaha So basically i was alreadi SICK on sun alreadi, and i did nt bother much.. And i still i went to my cousin hse for Kimchi soup wif rice and play Wii and of coz accompany n play wif my dear COCO too..

Yest is 1st day of sch but i'm too sick to go sch so i rest at hm instead.. Yest was 1st match of IVP n we won SIM.. 2 more games to go !!

27 more days to her b'day.. Tis yr i did not plan or do anything for her as i'm nt suppose and being told not to get anything for her... As during last yr,that will be the last present i will be giving her.. No more planning or savin for 1st feb anymore.. Christmas wishes no reply, New year 2010 no reply, so will i get any reply for 1st feb b'day wish ? Will i receive any message that tellin me: This will be the last b'day wishes and we shall not wish each other anymore.. I'm soo afriad that i might receive tis sms 1 day ...

对她我终究说不出‘恨’这个字... 无论我有多伤心多难过，我就是没办法说我恨她.. 别说恨，我连怪都没怪过她.. 我反而会想现在她过的好吗？幸福吗，快乐吗？

不能握的手从此匿名的朋友... 其实我的执著依然执著..

1 years

2009-12-30T23:19:00.003+08:00

I had been bloggin here for 1 year alreadi.. Time passes like soo fast ! I read this on someone blog and i totally agree wif it : in relationship, is nt the breakin part that hurt u but it the after effect of missing special someone in yr life that make it really unbearable.. Don't u guys agree to it as well ?

爱不再重要，坚强的安慰自己我会更好。。

30/12/09

2009-12-30T00:04:00.003+08:00

To all my fren: I noe u guys are worried abt me, u guys noe dat i'm nt happy at all and i'm still sad over some issue.. U guys dun wanna ask me abt dat as u guys are afraid that I might get even more sad n emo.. I noe u guys cared abt me and hope that i could be more happier each days.. I'm sorry to let u guys down, i'm nt truly happy.. I pretend n act as if i'm happy or gettin happier each days.. But when i'm out wif u guys durin those gatherin n outing, i do really enjoy myself but is just those time when i'm alone dat the feelin is diff.. Just like yest, i realli enjoy myself at de steamboat session wif ah ju, ah oon n minhui :)

Ever since that day, I noe my blog post had been very emo n sad.. Maybe some of u will blame her for dat, but pls dun blame her coz it's nt her fault.. It myself, it me dat could not let it go or face it.. Ernica once told me: Maybe u wil haf to wait for de next person to come into ur life dan u'll be able to forget her.. Maybe ernica is right abt tis, but it hard as well as i dun think i'll open up to others so easily again ...

吃不能吃，睡不能睡，没有了你好想全都不对，我都学不会把爱敷衍。。笑不能笑哭不敢哭人不像人，朋友都说这不过失恋但我连呼吸都胆怯。。能不能不爱了因为爱太痛了，我痛到快死了却无法把你忘了。。也许我只是多余的。。

受了伤却不投降相信付出会有代价（代价竟是一句傻瓜）

Merry X'mas

2009-12-25T23:04:00.004+08:00

Merry Christmas to you, her n everyone ! Thing is still as usual, nt much changes.. Busy wif thing almost everyday.. Maybe i just dun like de feelin of being so free as i might feel empty..

既然我不能坦然地面对，那我只好避开，躲开，逃避或假装下去... 本来以为自己能够放下，认为是时候了，但事实是我依然还是做不到...

The fact is, after so many thing happen.. I dun hate her, i dun blame her at all.. I am just frustrated wif the thing happening.. I just dun like de thing that is happening.. I dun understand y she have to say all those thing at that point of time ? It's stil hurt and it's still bothering me.. But I chose to keep eveything as i do not wish to talk abt it anymore.. I dun wan to speak or talk anything abt her, i choose to avoid n hide.. That de onli way to make me feel better, I guess soo ...

呼吸刺痛着心跳，你要我怎么笑？

21/12/09

2009-12-21T23:29:00.004+08:00

今天莫名其妙的回想起以前的事，想起那时候第一次我们牵手的事候。。那感觉很特别很奇妙，是我从来都没有过的。。我也很想知道那时候她到底有什么感受，她心里在想什么？就在那瞬间我们就这样的牵起了彼此的手，就这样走着。。那是我们第一次一起出门。。这一切都好像一场梦，我好希望我永远都不要醒来，就永远的在那美好的梦里。。也许我真的还放不过我自己吧。。

如果忘记一个人要好几年，那爱的后坐力真的好玄，时间也慢慢的告诉我那是没有期限的。。我虽然说了再见，但我依然活在从前。。不是说好了吗，我们还会是好朋友？这么现在好像都变了，不一样了。。说好了不哭了，眼泪也不准滴下，但眼泪还是滴下了。。

累了，该睡了。。拜，晚安了。。

12/12/09

2009-12-12T23:07:00.005+08:00

Happie 21st B'day Cashier !! Gonna meet up wif her when she is back from her HK TRIP ! Miss her alot alot :) So glad that we would be able to meet up :) Actually i gt alot of thing in my mind to type here but out of sudden i dunnoe hw shld i start ?

And Mum bought me 1 mickey from HK disneyland shop :) it soo cute n i will go US disneyland to get a much more bigger wan (if everything go smoothly for de US trip)

永远没有勇气面对的问题，问题就这样一直一直一直盘旋在天空... 于是，天灰了，也哭了.. 如果你问我疼吗？即时痛到心里了，我还是用最残酷的方式在安慰自己.. 就这样了吧，晚安 !

倒带

2009-12-09T13:07:00.006+08:00

我在幸福的门外却一直都进不来你累计给的伤害我是真的很难释懐.. 过去甜蜜在倒带只是感觉已经不再了 ..

I had not been listenin to 倒带 for quite sometime, as whenever i hear this songs, it remind me of her again.. When we 1st know each other, we listen to this songs together when i was accompany her at NS to help her wif her work stuff.. Yest my sis ask abt her, i did not really wan to talk much abt dat.. My reply was very short like: hmm ya, take le, i dunnoe, how would i noe all this..

At the moment, i just wanna focus on my sch stuff my DOAL course thingy.. Not any other stuff :) But if i realli get choosen for the overseas attachment, i hope i can meet up wif her b4 i leave, juz a simple lunch or dinner as a fren..(:

我决定走掉任眼泪狂飙 ..

8/12/09

2009-12-08T23:52:00.000+08:00

Decide to give lesson skip tml as i'm dead tired n i nid my sleep !! I nid at least 8 to 10 hrs of slp, seriously !!

Today feel freakin unhappy wif some strangers, seriously what wrong wif me wearin that shirt uh ! Look at my shirt like as if dere is ghost or wadeva on my shirt !! What wrong wif de wordin on my tees uh, it just stated: NO MAN WORTH YOUR TEARS, THE ONE WHO DO, WON'T MAKE YOU CRY !! It just a t-shirt that all, is the wordin so matters to u guys, or u guys feel gulity abt dat uh !! Assholes, so wad wif me wearin dat shirt ? N the reason i buy that shirt is coz of the wordin, i like the sentence ! Specially bought it to let all my "GIRL"fren see n noe abt this n let them noe hw sucky n assholes is those MAN !! N if u happen to noe, this shirt is from NUM (New urban Male), Soo if a male shop is sellin this shirt that means even GUYS do agree to it !!! So juz live it, IDIOTS!! Next time if i wear that shirt out n fuckin u ppl gif me that kind of face, I will fuckin ask u guys: what wrong wif my damn shirt n hw can i help U idiots !

也许我不知道你那儿最好也许我不知道你真的那么好让我情牵忘也忘不了.. 哪我的思恋你又明了多少呢？我真的不想黑暗了，你知道吗？我不想黑暗了，我想在阳光地下，那你还愿意为我笑一个吗？

我不黑暗了，但也许我変沉了..

3/12/09

2009-12-03T22:16:00.005+08:00

First post for the month of dec.. I seriously need alot of rest, almost everyday i overslept n could not wake up on time, every mornin for me = RUSH ! School,work and netball is killin me seriously.. School is de most tiring part as i wil be in class n outdoor as well, but i love every tue lesson as it is water based lesson and it is KAYAKING time !!! I love kayakin and tis is my fav new sports, even though after lesson i wil be dead tired but i enjoy it :) And i just cut n trim my hair, feel soo much better after trimin it :) I dunnoe whether is it a gd or bad news, anyway i'm selected for overseas IIP (overseas attachment) n if i'm realli gg i will be away from sg for i guess at least 2 to 3 months or maybe more than dat.. But thing are nt confirm yet as next wed i'm gg for interview..

The pressie had be left on my chair for quite sometime or i shld sae it had been dere ever since i gt it and i did nt touch it at all.. It is still nicely packed n placed in the plastic bag itself, everyday i had been seein it but i did nt even touch it at all.. Last present from her n i choose to do it tis way.. U may think that what is wrong with me ? I also dunnoe y too, maybe 1 fine day i will choose to do smth to it or maybe it will be dere till dunnoe when..

爱得很深，所以心会很痛记忆还在我心中翻滚.. 是不是每一个人都像我一样笨呢？我也忘了这是第几次，一见你我就无法坚持.. 爱也让人失去了理智心痛真的比快乐更真实吗？

反正到最后还是要面对这些，因为这些情绪只有自己知道.. 我累了，为什么累？是因为隐藏了太多太多了.. 最后我已经遗失的东西和我一直在寻找的原来就是我，对就是我自己.. 不满足的不是我的生活，不是我的家庭，更不是我的友情，而是我最内心的灵魂 ..

黑或白都找不到个绝对，全都是灰 ..

30/11/09

2009-11-30T23:55:00.000+08:00

Today marks de end of November 2009 .. Nov is a gd month for me and also a sad n emo month as well.. For the gd part is S.H.E is in town durin nov and also i had alot of fun n realli enjoy myself at my own 21st b'day party ! For de sad part, i guess i do not have to elaborate much abt it.. Tml is de 1st day of dec, hopefully it will be a gd month :)

Anyway yest went up wif Aj bro,jyc and fangan :) It was a nice outing and i love and enjoy gg out with them.. Next outing will be Ichiban Sushi hee :D

既然爱无法均分，那以后就留给你们吧... 容忍的人其实并不笨, 只是宁可对自己残忍.. 到底要我怎么样，到底又希望我能怎么样呢？

我应该分的够狠你才有借口转身... (我是好人，也是个坏人)

28/11/09

2009-11-28T23:27:00.004+08:00

Dang is trying hard not to give herself any hope anymore.. More hope given, more hurts & pain is applied .. The story will be continued..

也许用伤害结束爱才更动人吧？你是好人，也是个坏人..

Heal ?

2009-11-22T23:23:00.002+08:00

Will it heal ? Completely heal ? I dunnoe ... The sadness is stil dere, nt completely n nt gone yet... Almost everyone dat see me ask me to cheer up as they sae i do look sad ..

3 years back, someone told me dat she is nt tat type of girls that i''ll like n i did nt realli think much abt dat coz at tat point of time, i seriously like her alot.. Maybe they're right from de start... To me nw everything is juz like a dream, it seems like i have it but in de end i dun.. It's a beautful dream dat i wish i'll nv wake up from dere.. No more happiness or happy moment left, it's all gone..

I noe eventually one fine day it will heal, slowly heal.. Morning when i was awake my pillow was wet, my tears still roll down before i slept... It was realli a cold mornin when i was gg to work, everywhere seems soo quiet.. I close my eyes n sleep on de bus to work, i was really tired.. I did nt give my best at work 2day, i haf no mood but stil i tried to give my best.. Thank Eunice for listenin to wad i have to say n also makin me laugh as well.. Thank Ju n Oon for listenin to me as well..

Silly dang is forever soo silly n foolish.. Silly dang wan to sleep nw, eye closing soon.. gd night !

On and on the pain goes on and I just dunnoe hw to cope ?

21/11/09

2009-11-21T23:52:00.002+08:00

I will not be the orginial me tis few days, maybe nt de Dang u guys noe.. I wil nt be soo hyper tis few days.. I'm nt good at all, i'm all mess up again.. I am so foolish n stubborn.. My tears roll down n i can't control, i noe i should not be like tis again.. But i seriously cannot control it, i feel very worse nw.. I dunnoe hw to hide anymore, tears juz keep rolling down.. I'm sorry friends, if i let u guys worried abt me..

你应该很幸福和快乐吧？ You said that I should not always just think for others, i should also think for myself... I seriously dunnoe hw am i gg to work tml ? Maybe i wil nt be similing as much, and i will nt be in a gd state to serve guest too..

Physically n Mentally tired.. I'm tired, bye

:(

2009-11-20T23:21:00.002+08:00

This will be an Emo post once again .. Receive an sms from her askin whether am i free to meet tml ? It seem that i gt to be happy but I am nt.. As I'm workin tml n have meetin after work so i told her no.. But she sae meet after my meetin juz for awhile as she wil nt be free from tml onwards.. So i gt no choice but to meet.. This is nt wad i want, but i have no choice n can't choose at all ..

This may be the last time we gonna meet, i dunnoe y but i just gt tis feeling.. Thing aren't as well as last time anymore, i knew it all along but i thought it would nt be so worse like nw.. Maybe this seems like an cycle, I think n think n think and i try n try n try & in de end I fail.. Well, I'm stubborn, always stubborn.. This is de onli place for me to be emo as FB my sis, cousin all are in, i can't realli do much thing dere.. I guess & belief nt much ppl noe this blog so juz let me be emo here..

Juz nw was talkin to Ju online, i told her almost everything abt it.. She told me it take time, so i should lead my own life and slowly forget abt her.. I had been tryin to do so but everytime i walk pass 1 area or juz see something i think of her.. I pass by bukit batok, bukit gombak i think of her, i walk pass tis particular shop i think of her, i use my mickey cup it remind me of her again.. IF i gonna sae i dun feel anything when she told me she can't make it for my party on 7th nov, i am obiviously lying to u.. All along i dun realli like to have b'day celebration but as tis time is my 21st and i would like to use tis opportunity to haf a party so that could invite her and so call spend or celebrate my b'day wif her but in de end ...

就算叙述了在多的疲累和压力及情绪都显的太多余。。这些都在告诉我，现在的我看起来是多么的脆弱。。不知道的还以为又发生了什么事，知道的想说这事情应该还会在发生。。从头到尾最清楚的唯一证人，被问起时，只剩微笑或沉默。。振作吧，好吗？

一个人安静的..

I Dunnoe y i like tis pic alot.. It seems very special :) For me i feel that the drawin seems to be cryin n it is all alone by itself ..

That all for 2night.. Maybe more emo post to be up soon.. Byee n gd night to u n her :)

轻微着痛着，轻微地舍不得。。

16/11/09

2009-11-16T22:49:00.005+08:00

Recently thing had been the same.. Still i'm soon tired esp mon after water-based lesson and then training again.. I am like soo dead tired de following day.. But anyway lesson and sch had been okay and maybe kind of fun as well..

And i alreadi gt myself an new wallet from NUM :) Quite happy with the wallet.. B'day is the same nth much, nth much for me to think abt as well.. everything stay de same..

就算面無表情還是會有痛覺的不是嗎? 但這些東西根本沒人懂.. 我太累了，但這樣的累也糟到拋棄.. 看得太透徹了，這更殘忍.. 那些關於我的，也已經在也不關我的事情了..
我早就知道也改變不了甚麼，所以不想再懷抱希望讓自己受傷.. 反正不管怎麼難過怎麼開心一天都會過去.. 反正到最後結果都已經成形了，那就這樣吧...

That all for today.. Feel kind of tired n i gonna play my cookin mama 3 nw :) Gd night to u n her :)

我以为说忘记就忘记，多么洒脱容易

At last

2009-11-11T23:20:00.004+08:00

Actually i'm quite lazy to blog n post but i think i shld come here n post smth.. Okay anyway my dear Laopo S.H.E had alreadi left sg like 4 days ago haaa.. Love them to de max haa.. anyway foto are upload at FB, too many foto for me post le.. I shall just post some of it and ella draw me an heart hahahah :D

B'day celebration last sat was great :) All my fren,buddies, relative is dere to celebrate wif me.. Julin n Jiemin came, they suprise me again and i belief everything they sae again!! Everytime kanna bluff by them de ehhh haa.. N AJ bro manage to came early, i was like ehh hw cum she is dere at 6 plus coz b4 that she told me she gt to work.. But it great to see all of them are there :) Receive lots of present as well, pic are up at FB as well :)

2 more days and it will be de actual day of my b'day.. Wishes will be the same again, I realli hope from 3 years back till nw the wishes did came true :) It's a very simple wishes that i had, hopefully it did came true everytime i wish it :) Soo that shld all for today, gd night to u n her :)

你送的礼物在此刻好体贴陪我回忆把过往走一遍

Laopo !!!

2009-11-06T23:33:00.002+08:00

The pic show n sae everything !! They're in town :)) Super happy to see them, tml is another day for me to see them :)) Byee and will upload more pic when i'm freeeee

Gd night to u n her :D

6/11/09

2009-11-06T10:46:00.004+08:00

Today i give sch a skipped !! Decide not to go to sch for lesson 2day, soo boring and also my dear laopo S.H.E is in town alreadi woolalala.. Later on meetin bestie pearline to go ION to see them as ltr 4pm they havin an press conference for de OSIM product :)) And tml will be at causeway for the auto-session for the book itself hee..

Tml night will also be an happy events for me ? I guess shld be ba haa coz it my 21st b'day party ... Everything shld be fine tml i guess haaa.. Yest went n get the decoration stuff at bugis and also ordered my balloons !! GREEN, PURPLE, YELLOW :))

There is a period of time whenever i hear my ipod or ppl playing 触电, i will press next for my ipod if nt i will just plug my ear pieces and listen to my own songs.. It nt tat i dun like tis songs but whenever i listen to that songs it make me think back of those memories like what de lyrics say: 明明是昨天的事情怎么今天我还在经历一丁点回忆都能惊天又动地。。The reason i wanna meet u is to sit down, chit-chat and have dinner with u, the rest is not important at all to me.. 我不需要什么生日礼物，那对我来说一点也不重要，我只想跟你坐下来好好的跟你吃一顿饭。。就这么简单可以吗？

當我開始發現做了這麼多事情之後並不是為了我自己，而是為了抵抗或是掩蓋某些不堪的爆發而轉移再轉移，逃的這麼遠現在卻甚麼也看不見了。。有人負責傷害，就一定会有人負責受傷.. 那負責受傷的就是要負責讓自己面對讓自己哭讓自己痊癒讓自己好過。。这一点也不好过。。

That shld all for 2day, gonna get ready to go out n pack my stuff for tml as well.. Byee & hope u n her have a gd day ahead :)

终于沉默代替我们就像风吹来云飘走了

4/11/09

2009-11-04T22:21:00.002+08:00

I gt nth to blog anyway but juz feel like cumin here to type smth.. And to share dat i gt my 1st b'day pressie from Celine cousin's & Hubby, Pauline Cousin, Auntie, Sis n her BF.. It a canon camera that i wanted and my b'day cake on my party tis sat :)

Mon went to NUH to visit my 1st aunt, glad to see dat she is much more better and hopefully she can be discharged soon.. N my younger cousin Mr Anthony get into an bike accident, went n see him too.. Luckly he was okay and nth much serious.. He gt abrasion, 1 open wound on his leg and he fractured his right arms.. Hopefully after this accident, he will be more obedient n listen to my 2nd uncle n auntie..

無法停止的好好沈澱所有思緒，喘不過氣後還是不停的抑制.. 多令人無奈的結果，在我身旁的平靜已經不真實了，我不想再靠近了。。。就先安全的待在這吧，繼續等待。。

That all for today, kind of tired and feel soo sleepy nw.. Tml gt trainin hais, dun realli feel like gg coz i feel very tired :( Byee n gd night to u n her :)

时间的伤翻云覆雨了什么从我手中夺走了什么

Woo

2009-10-31T23:59:00.000+08:00

Happie B'day Selina 任家宣

Today is dear selina princess B'day !! Happie happie B'day to u.. Can't wait for next week to see them, SELINA, HEBE, ELLA :)

De day is approaching soon, n receive new from my frens that they might not be able to make it for my b'day.. Well, that basically hw thing will turn out, nt within our control too.. Just came back from movie wif vincent,shihui,denyse,leon n mason.. Watch Michael Jackson this is it !! It nice and i like it heee :) For sure i wil play his music durin my party Wooooo :D

That shld be all for 2day, i nid my rest and tml is work time again.. Gd night to u n her :)

越相互关心著越加速疏远了

坦白 ?

2009-10-28T23:41:00.002+08:00

Mum & dad wil nt hm for the next 2 days as they went on cruise alreadi.. People are askin me what do i want for my b'day ? And they even ask me to list out my wishlist in my blog.. BAsically de thing that i wanted are kind of expensive, frankly speaking but i can gif some advice on what to get for me.. Maybe can get adidas, nike, NUM,Top Man voucher as i could get thing from there.. Basically the thing that i want is FCUK watch, Casio Watch, Bag from STAGE, a brand new wallet, Fred Perry and Lacoste Polor T.. At de moment tis are de thing that i wanted to get and of coz there are still other thing that i wanted but i would prefer receiving de voucher from others and get de items myself as I would want to try n see whether do i suit those thing that i wanted haaa.. (:

So this are de thing that I would wan or prefer, DUN say i nv state wad i wan le ah ! hahahahaha.. This are my wish-lists but nt my B'day wish, my b'day wishes are always de same ever since 3 years back.. I'm nt sure whether my wish had come true ma ? Hopefully every year my wish had come true :)

回想起以前的事，我发现我真的很喜欢她，也愿意为了她做任何一件事。。直到现在我还是喜欢她。。對自己坦白　愛狠狠的還在找朋友陪伴　都抵不過另一半。。或许到现在我真的还没醒吧。。

That all for 2night.. Gonna get some sleep soon.. Gd night to u n her :)

時間開始慫恿勸深愛的人放棄

27/10/09

2009-10-27T21:21:00.004+08:00

Yest went out wif ah ju & ah oon to celebrate ah oon belated B'day !! Went Holland V for dinner and ice-cream :) Glad dat ah oon did enjoy herself and i stil wating for her 1000 words post at her blog regarding what we did yest hahahaha..

AND guess wad ? S.H.E is cumin to sg next month !! Hurray they are cumin but on de day i haf my b'day party they are havin their books auto-graph session at causeway point but luckly it is held at 2pm so I can still go and will able to make it for my b'day party hahahaa.. How could I miss out any S.H.E event when they are in sg ? Wahahaha.. I would try out all ways to go n see them even though i haf thing on haaa .. :D

Anyway schools and everything are still ok, everything is doing well but i'm getting more tanned !! Next mon is kayaking lesson, lookin forward to it hee :) I had juz cut my hair n highlighted as well.. Quite happie wif the hair color and all thank to my hair-stylist Kim :) I like elva new album 钻石糖 songs, almost everyday my ipod is playin her songs .. I think i'll go get her album haa ..That shld be all for 2day.. Byee n gd night to u n her :)

開始倒數開始忘記

倒数 ?

2009-10-23T23:21:00.001+08:00

我不知道我什么时候会醒来，可能我到现在都没醒来过，只是我现在还在梦里面觉得我是醒着的，觉得我可以放下...

眼淚忽然奪眶而出快要不能自己

22/10/09

2009-10-22T22:21:00.000+08:00

Lesson are ok recently and I'm able to sleep alittle bit longer due to my lesson start late haaa.. Anyway tml after sch i gonna head down to Ncore n get OS HERO巨型太空閃電Logo T but I stil nt sure whether which color to get ? Yellow or silver ??

Anyway that shld be all, nth much to blog or sae anyway.. Byee, gd night to u n her :)

越害怕傷害我我感覺越難受

20/10/09

2009-10-20T23:21:00.000+08:00

Recently i had been very tired again :( Seriously nt enough slp.. Today went straight hm after sch, when i reach hm i lie down on my sofa n i fall slp till 8 plus near 9pm.. I realise i haven had my dinner yet, quickly head down to get some food for dinner.. I think when i was sleepin or restin on de sofa, i hear my dad askin my mum hw come i'm sleepin at tis time and i look soo tired recently ? My mum told my dad that for the past few days, i had competition and de next day i gt to wake up early for sch or work, tat y i'm soo tired.. I totally agreed to what my mum said hahahaa..

I'm soo tempted and soo lookin forward for S.H.E is the one world our concert !! Can they come soon soon PLS !! Saw those pic that they have their concert in HK and read the article for their concert i was like Ahhhhh I wan to watch de concert too :( Stil waitin for de concert in sg..

It confirm that she will nt be cumin for my b'day party as she gt thing on or maybe there is some reason behind it that i guess myself.. But that okay as she said that she will meet up wif me durin nov :) 我只是讓自己縮再牆角，緊閉雙眼等著這一切停止，然而我面無表情其實我都知道這不是一個好的結果不是嗎? 一切疼痛揮舞著未來，沸騰後冷卻的等待我明白。。。

Well that shld be all for today, quite a long post of update.. Tml wil be last match for POLITE, let go RP netballer ! Fight all de way :) Yawnnn, I'm sleepy sleepy n tired.. Gd night to u n her :)

傷人的真相　無法隱藏也無法埋葬

17/10/09

2009-10-17T23:52:00.001+08:00

Recently tis few days did not have de time to blog 1 long post, even nw i'm juz using some of time to blog b4 i slp as tml is working again.. My scheldue for tis few weeks is damn busy.. For mon is water based lesson n after lesson i havin match, tue is sports business and after sch i went n do my invitation card thingy, wed lesson at bukit timah and after that i rush down to TP for match, thur went bukit timah again but luckly night time nth on, Fri CCM. whole day at ALC and after that head for match.. LAstly today n tml is work again :( Omg i gonna die soon, i nid more rest pls ..

Juz nw meet up wif vincent darling.. Nice meetup coz long time nv see him and bth of us miss each other too hahaha.. He treat me dinner at bongo and i treat him drinks at STARBUCKS.. We chat abt lots of thing, soo shiok hahaha.. Haven been chattin wif him like 2day for quite sometime alreadi :) Hopefully able to meet up wif him more but nt next week as he cannot book out haaa ..

Thank for the wishes, I will play well n play hard :) Even though u sae i no nid the luck coz i gt de skills but i still nid ur gd luck hee :D

GIF ME A BREAK !

That all for today.. Soo tired n tml is EIC, Omg faints.. Hopefully all my ent staff come to work tml.. Yawnnnnn, gd night to u n her :)

我会释怀让时间把一切都冲淡

Happie B'Day

2009-10-14T23:59:00.002+08:00

Happie B'day to Ah Oon !!

Tis post is specially posted for dear ah oon de trend setter :) Happie 19th b'day n may all ur wishes come true.. So sorry could nt celebrate ur b'day wif u on time, but we wil meet up soon k :) Short post 2night, will post again when i'm free.. Gd night to u n her :)

Mixture feeling

2009-10-12T23:21:00.002+08:00

Just came back from match like 1 hrs ago.. Today is de 1st match, we won :) today was againist NP, at 1st we will nt doing so well but after that we fight all de way and we won.. Play 2 quarters 2day, was quite happy wif my performance but stil nid tp work hard.. All of us wanted tis game badly, and we did it.. 4 more match to go.. Let go TEAM RP Netballer :)

I was very happy when we won, all of us hug each other.. But when after match and i was changing, i did nt feel gd at all.. I wanted to share my happiness wif her but i dunnoe hw to and i'm scared. I'm freakin scared, i dunnoe hw she will feel when i sms her.. I stil can do it 3 years, 2 & 1 years ago but nt nw anymore.. I share my happiness wif Nina n shihui, I want share it wif everyone but i dunnoe hw can i share it wif her.. :(

道行く人をぼんやり見ていた目覚めたらすべてが夢であってよそしてまたふざけて□ ( I listlessly watched people walk by, Let this all be a dream when I open my eyes and make fun of me again)

That shld be all for today.. Juz finish my RJ and maybe i'll browse thru my pre-readin for sports business.. I shld be sleeping soon.. Gd night to u n her :)

泪在眼里打转爱以变成黑白

8/10/09

2009-10-08T17:12:00.003+08:00

Recently had been a busy week for me, so many thing to do n settle.. B'day party thing is the most hassle thing nw, as I could not get a venue on 7th nov but i had alreadi bk the venue on 8th nov(sun).. I shld be glad that i got the area but my mum prefer it to be on sat so right nw my sis n cousin is helping to see whether am i able to get other venue on 7th nov .. WISH ME GOOD LUCK PLS !!!

I thought that I had alreadi put everything aside and move on to a new chapter but yest i realise i did not managed to do that.. Yest when i was in sch during 2 or 3 plus she online, i was suprised that she online.. I click on her, even though i did nt have the intention to chat wif her but i still click on her.. I Dunnoe y i did that ? When i click on her and saw her DP, the feeling is back.. I Dunnoe hw to describle that feeling but me myself can feel that tis feeling is soo familar and it just like last time again.. Afterall, she still mean alot to me and she is still very special to me..

Sat will be having dinner at Jumbo to celebrate sis B'day !! Gonna get her some present if not she wil nag that i did not get her anything for her b'day and she gt to spend $ on my 21st b'day hahaha.. Anyway gt some fotos for the halloween night.. :)

That shld be all for 2day, gt to head for some sports courses for netball :) Byee and hope u n her wil have a gd day ahead .. :)

对你好都没有用要怎样让你感动 ?

Super Enjoyed !!

2009-10-04T18:12:00.000+08:00

Yest night was a super great night :) I realli enjoy myself to de max, love gg out 1 big group esp wif zoo peeps coz we're a bunch of fun n crazy ppl.. Yest de seniors join us as well, n we had alot of fun disturbin the ghosts and takin pic wif them hahaha.. :)

Ah bao was de most funniest wan among us.. The ghosts wanted to scare us, some manage to did it and some not but de most funny part is after they scare us, ah bao 1st reaction or 1st sentence is : take photo take photo ! We was like laughin non-stop and i think those ghosts is thinkin wah tis grp of ppl crazy uh .. Every ghost that appear we would sae take photo take photo in a very excited way hahaha..

I enjoy my trip yest although it was nt as scary as last year wan but de company was GREAT :) Picture shall sae everything :D

Zoo Peeps :)

Tml wil be headin back to sch alreadi, another sem to go.. Hopefully everything wil be gd :) That shld be all for today.. Byee, n hope dat u n her wil have a gd day :)

为什么爱人的权利注定就要一辈子的隐藏

掉了 ?

2009-09-29T23:21:00.001+08:00

Today is 29sept and it is ah leong b'day !! Happie 21st ah leong, May all ur wishes come true and take care :)

I'm soo lookin forward to tis sat as i'm gg to night safari halloween night wif de zoo peeps :) It gonna be fun fun but too bad julia n vincent could nt join us.. Nvm we shall go again coz it for the whole mth of OCT :) Recently busy wif my invitation card thingy, alreadi bought all de materials needed and nw it designing time.. Gonna start doin tml.. And i'm stil waitin for my fever gd student tee, hopefully there wil be restock Pls pls pls :)

黑色笑靥掉了雪白眼泪掉了该出现的所有表情瞬间掉了瞳孔没有颜色故事情节掉了　主角对白掉了该属于剧中的对角戏也掉了。。回忆是最可怕的敌人，我永远都没办法胜过它。。

That all for today.. Gd night to u n her then :)

想念不能承认　偷偷擦去泪痕

若無其事 ?

2009-09-25T22:21:00.003+08:00

我可否若無其事的走向人群，我能否若無其事的正常? 我無法若無其事，無法。。太多的淚水寫滿了悲傷和愚昧。。

晚安了，拜拜。。就这样了

我的懦弱已经开始让我讨厌我自己

22/9/09

2009-09-22T23:52:00.005+08:00

Tired, tired, tired is all i can sae after 4 days straight of work.. And i'm workin on a long weekends ! But luckly everything stil can manage if nt u can see me takin MC le hahaha.. Tml to sat wil be OFF :) Shiok ah hahaha.. Sat wil be gg shoppin wif mason n julia in de afternoon dan night time wil be dinner wif mason n de rest of zoo peeps :)

當我替這世界找完藉口，結果卻仍舊令人沮喪我就不想再费任何的力气了。。虽然我面無表情，對很多事情都已經無法再激動看待，但此時我仍失望透頂。。抱緊怕愛會掙扎放開又怕愛會心慌那我该怎么做呢？The worse thing is caring about someone, wondering how she is and what she is up to when the truth is she've stopped wondering about you a long time ago... 原来她已不在意所有的所有了。。

已累了..

Byeee that all.. Gd night to u n her and haf a gd rest everyone :) 晚安吧!

就算不能够再靠近同样的天空下总会有你 ...

19/09/09

2009-09-18T23:52:00.004+08:00

Today was a day out wif Ju and Oon for picnic at Marina Barrage !! The weather was nt soo gd but we stil manage to picnic and took quite alot of fotos, waitin for Ju to upload as she gt lots of pic to upload nw haaa.. I love gg out wif them as it's soo fun and we can chat abt lots of thing as well.. I go off 1st as nid to attend trainin in de evening :( Sorry abt dat Ju & Oon, sorry that i gt to leave early.. Next time, i'll leave my whole day for u all k hee :D

Yest after work receive a sms from her, soo suprising uh .. I was kinda suprise too when i saw de sms.. She told me dat if hse come to my party, it'll be weird coz she dunnoe anyone there.. I was like ermmm dere's afew ppl dat i invite dat she noe as well.. She replied: But i nt close wif them.. I told her if she's cumin, i will acc her throughout the party n she'll nt be alone :) Yest night b4 i was gg to sleep, i was thinking abt the whole thing.. I was wondering am i like forcin her to come or wad ? I feel like smsin her n tell her if u realli scared dat u feel weird, it okay for me if u dun make it :) In de end i nv sms her tis, coz i noe i wil regret coz i realli hope n want her to come but i dun wanna force her or ... Today told ju & oon abt dat, Ju sae it kind of obivious dat she dun wanna come or could not come le.. Ju told me to sms her dat if she is realli cumin she can bring along a gal-fren to acc her :) I guess i wil tell her dat too..

我還沒忘掉的東西，還沒理由忘記，而殘留的一切不管現在以後都會很安靜。。習慣性的把很多心情都像裝袋一樣的隱藏起來，什么都不想让别人知道或发现。。祝我開心，但我要你更開心可以吗？So many words for the broken heart, It's hard to see in a crimson love and it's so hard to breathe ...

只想在自己的世界里。。

Byee that all for 2day.. Tml is work again and it will be a 4 days straight work .. Gd night to u n her :) 祝妳開心。妳一定要好嗎 ?

这夜晚让暗恋更有画面感.. 与你去会过的地方都舍不得删 ..

United Day !

2009-09-16T22:12:00.005+08:00

Yest was a great day !! Ah Ju & ah oon came n fetch me from work n they also come zoo n ns to act as a tourist hahahaha.. At 1st they lie to me sayin dat ah oon cannot make it, but i knew smth is nt right n bth of them seems hiding smth from me so i did nt realli believe it when ah ju sms me n told me dat .. We went to bongo for dinner :) Slack n chat over dere and went Ben & jerry to slack n chat again n of coz takin foto hahaa..

Our Bongo Meal :)

United !

Enjoyin Ice-cream

Bth of them seems to like my Cap alot uh haaa :p

Ah oon, Ah Ju, Ah Dang

Friday, we will be meetin again !! Picnic Picnic Picnic Time :) 3 of us are soo excited abt dat and each of us gonna prepare food.. And de 2 of them told me we gonna play heart-attack on fri when i ask them wad we gonna do that day other dan eatin hahaha...

Alreadi ask her abt my b'day party, and she sae she wil let me noe again as she nid to check her sch time-table.. I realli hope that she could make it but i'm not gg to pin too much hope or think too much abt dat, yest i was kind of bored n i even go n ask de dunnoe wad indian Fortune Teller Genius at FB abt dat and the ans is obivious ! I was like wad soo obivious uh, but nvm la hahaha..

要是可以，我希望我可以對自己的心情越來越沈默，只有好的快樂的一面讓人看到，負的糟糕的都塞往裡頭。。愛人的能力因為離開而成長還是關上心防？本来以為應該接受全部的全部才是愛的方法當時誰能懂得放那是多痛的感想。。我真的想真的想將破碎的心釋放。。

That shld be all for 2day, will blog again maybe in a few days time.. Nw blogger is workin well again, well done blogger hahaha :D Tml is work again, byee n gd night to u n her :) 不知道她今晚是否会上线？好吧，也够了就这样吧！晚安咯。。

到底爱怎么了? 我并不知道我只是一直习惯为爱付出

13/09/09

2009-09-13T23:59:00.005+08:00

I think bloggers onli work well at certain timing.. So next time i onli can blog at certain timing lo.. Anyway tis few days are okay, workin and training.. Soon i wil be meetin wif Julin & Jiemin, i had nt been meetin them for soo long coz i bery bo heng hahaha..

Tis few days, i had been starin at my lappy again.. Hopin and tryin my luck whether wil she online, even she online i also nv chat wif her.. I always sound so silly whenever i chat wif her and my stupidness will all show up.. 我正在練習痲痹，習慣痛覺，努力讓舊的感覺積灰塵。。東西會痛的就是會痛，該難過的還是要難過完。。该忘记的还是要尽力的让自己试着忘记，就算办不到也要装做我已忘记了。。

My next target !!

FCUK watch

I'll get tis 熱血好學生Tee !

仔仔 :)

I nid my sleep soon as i'm dead tired nw.. Gonna slp late tml, enjoy my slp to de max hahaha.. That shld be all ! Byee n gd night to you n her .. 晚安吧!

轻轻放我就是卸不下对你的喜欢原来爱会慢慢增加重量

Hais (edited wif colors)

2009-09-11T23:21:00.004+08:00

Hais Hais Hais :( I gt alot of thing to post here but Blogger dun allow me too.. I can't post pic, i can't edit my colors for my post.. By nw u all shld noe dat i always edit my colors for my post for different section .. But as i gt too many thing to sae and type so i stil choose to make tis post n edit it when bloggers realli work well :)

Maybe alot of ppl is wonderin what is my FB status talkin abt the quiting or stay thingy ? It is not my work at zoo nor her.. It's smth dat i had been doin it for a long time and no one will expect me to quit it ? The ans is: Netball !! Suprising right ? The reason i had dat thinkin or dat decision is because I had nt realli improve on my skills for netball and i feel soo tired alreadi and my right ankle is stil injuired .. BUT i had decide to stay, not had de thinkin to quit anymore, Play well & focus like wad i did 2day for the friendly game n coach sae that i did play well dan the last game.. So WORK HARD n TRAIN HARD :)

For the past few days, she's online but she put away.. I know she is nt away as she is busy doing her stuff.. Seein her online is more dan enough :) Did click on her but stil decide nt to type anything.. Yest saw her latest Msn DP, it's an hamster sleeping.. Seein dat dp make me think back last time, thinkin dat she used to told me dat she like hamster and she wanted to have 1.. She even told me hw she wanna named the hamster, the name of them and the reason why they are named that way.. Thinkin back that i find all ways to see whether which of my fren had hamster and wanted to gif away, and whenever i entered a Pet shop i'll head to the hamster section to take alook at them.. That time my fren n cousin are always wonderin hw cum i'll look at hamster coz i always love dog and i'll always head to the dog section whenever i entered the pet shop.. Even had de thinkin to buy her de hamster and everything she needed to keep them but in de end i nv as she sae she is stil not ready for it as she is too busy wif things.. After soo long, i'll stil had de mindset to buy her 1 but in de end i nv as i feel that i shld buy smth that wil be useful for her and she will used it frequently .. 今晚她没有上线，我也该去睡了。。

我好想告诉她我好想她，但我不能。。因为我一定会后悔如果我真的说。。That shld be .. Gd night to u n her :)

有一些话打好了却不敢传怕收到信息的你在为难

Luckly ?

2009-09-06T23:12:00.000+08:00

Recently i did nt get to blog nicely as i'm busy & Bo Heng like wad ah JU sae !! For de past 2 days i had been wakin up at 5 plus in de mornin, and it damn freakin tiring for me... Last fri after work, went down to SRC for friendly match and on sat i nid to wake up at 5 plus for de carnival, 2day i woke up at 5 plus for work, tml wake up 5 plus again for round 2 carnival, tue wake up 5 plus AGAIN for work.. HELL for me man, i look super tired n shag nw seriously.. NT ENOUGH SLEEEP LA !!!

Today i'm quite luckly haaa coz something nice happen.. It might not be some nice thing to others but to me it gd enough coz i dun always get a chance to have nice thing happening to me :) Today was chattin wif Shi Hui at work.. I was complainin dat i'm tired all tis n we started like tis conversation.. N i happen to realise shi hui n me will keep ourself busy n really occupied to prevent ourself from thinking as we can think abt lots of thing....

I shall upload some photo on last tue RAINY zoo trip hahaha... ENJOY

仔仔

Anyway i shld be sleeping early today, but i doubt soo as i'll be starin at my lappy for quite sometime i guess.. Tml gonna be a Zzzz journey to sch :) Byee and Gd night to u n her.. Sweet Dreams :)

今晚渴望再见你虽然只是在梦里

Lazy

2009-09-03T23:21:00.000+08:00

I do have lots of thing to blog here but i'm way too tired alreadi.. I shall blog when i'm abit more free and if blogger works :)

Dang & Joshua :)

That is all for today, i nid my sleep nw.. Super tired nw n tml gt to work n after work is friendly games.. GOSH !! 晚安吧，希望她今晚会睡好 :)

在某个街头有个我在这里只为你等候

Last Day

2009-08-31T13:14:00.004+08:00

Okay 2day is last day of aug so here i'm blogging !! Blogger stil do not allow me to post pic hais .. Anyway recently had been busy wif thing, on sat went to celebrate pearline b'day at Mind Cafe, and we went for dinner at ECP :) Yest was work, it was raining whole day.. Later heading back to sch for physical trainin and tml will be zoo trip wif Aj Bro, jyc and fangan :)

Cousin celine had done a design for my party invitation, and i like it.. It very nice n unique, gonna get those material and do some design thingy 1st, once de bookin is confirm for de function room and we can start printing it and i can gif out invitation card for those that are cuming :)) I gt ard 1oo namelist for my party but i gonna cut down on it as 100 is too much and i'm sure those that i invite nt necessary all would come haaa.

我開始在習慣一種難以言喻的寂寞。。That shld be all Byee to u n her

就算没快乐结局就算从此死了心我要付出我所有诚意只要能感动你

All Clear

2009-08-25T23:12:00.000+08:00

All my UTs 3 for 5 module is Cleared !! Today clear 2 in a day, 1 in de morning n 1 in the afternoon.. Tml onwards to 1st week of oct will be my sch holidays but it will be a busy holiday for me once again as i wil be busy with trainin, friendly games and work.. This 3 tiring for me, nt much energy to do others thing alreadi :(

Anyway i gt my outerspace bag alreadi, like it to the max :) After waitin for 1 or 2 mths plus, i finally got it hahaha :D Wanted to post de pic but blogger dun allow me to do that again :( As today we had a realli long breaks like 6 hours while waitin for the next UT, almost de whole class slack all de way at library in a quiet readin room, it suppose to be quiet room but as we're inside so it become a NOISY room hahaha.. We took quite a handful of foto usin my lappy and i had all upload it at FB !! When blogger allow me to post pic i shall do so :)

擁有的不一定被放下,相信不一定永恆, 若像是風一樣,那還有沒有緬懷的心碎。當所有價值和意義越來越不明顯, 一直所做的一彻好像都没有任何意义了吧？

Byee that shld be all for today.. Soo tired and i nid my slp alreadi.. Gd night to u n her :)

是你对我有戒心还是我没有自信可是谁也不能阻止我我要暗恋你

Temporary

2009-08-21T14:42:00.004+08:00

2 Ut down, 3 more to go.. Next mon land-based at 4.30pm and next tue adventure education & Health n Wellness, after tis 2 i'll clear all my UT3 !! Recently had been checkin stuff for my nov b'day celebration, it seems like it too early for me to plan n search for thing but nw it's onli less then 3 mths for me to do all tis thing.. N somemore almost everyday i'm busy wif thing, although i'll be having my holiday soon but i'll be busy wif training and work as well.. Now trainin had increase to 3 days per week so everyday i'll be occupied wif thing.. Mon,wed, fri will be training, tue,thur,sat n sun will be work for me.. So 1 weeks 7 days, everyday i gt thing on hahaha.. Damn Busy uh haa

暂停算不算放弃 ? 对我来说，暂停不算放弃。。暂停只是让我休息和从新的想过一遍，想一想到底我要的是什么。。休息是为了走更长或更远的路。。我知道我自己是不可能这么容易放弃的，所以就停下脚步慢慢的思考吧。。也许这是最好的方法吧。。故事就说到这里就算你们再好奇我想说的都已说完了其余是秘密 :)

Yest and today when i was on de way to sch and walkin towards MRT station, met someone.. Seems like we dun onli get to meet each other at de ladies le but yest i stil met her at de ladies again hahaha.. Today was talkin to khai after UT n askin each other whether can do ma ? I was like Today cannot do eh, cannot think hahaha !! Yest can do n think eh, 2day nth come out haa.. N khai was like : y eh. 2day no motiviation ah, No good luck ah ? I was kind of laughin non-stop when she sae dat.. :p

GREAT NEWS !!!!!! S.H.E will be having their WORLD TOUR CONCERT SOON and i think next year then they would be cuming to SINGAPORE.. It does nt matter tis yr or next year, de most impt is they will come SG for CONCERT again !! Hahahaha..

「S.H.E is the One@愛而為一」世界巡迴演唱會

Later gonna head back school for training.. In 1 day, i gonna head back sch twice sia .. Mornin for UT, evening for training and nw it's stil raining !! AND my outerspace black bag is here alreadi, damn happie can hahaha.. That shld be all, Byee to u n her :)

醒来发现这一切都只是我的梦境告诉自己要冷静却又无法不想你

Soon it'll be over

2009-08-17T22:12:00.000+08:00

Another post for de day :) Out for sudden i juz feel like postin another post here.. Tis is my diary, an area that i can post wad i wanna sae no matter is it happy, sad, angry or wadeva.. I guess, onli my close or gd fren then will come my blog n read wad i type ba.. Tis blog is juz simply an area or space for me, that y i nv put any tag-box or others thing coz i'm lazy to reply those message at de tag-box hahaha..

Today i told myself that if the ans that i gt from is a negatitive ans or de ans that is not wad i wan, i'll stop askin.. I'll nt ask anymore till it's near my b'day when i gg to invite her.. 我不会再问了，不会在问她有空吗？在这几个月内，我不会再传简讯问她了。。问了得到的答案每次都会影响我的情绪，还不如不问了这样我也可能会比较好过一点。。每次过后都得勉强的微笑或笑一下，因为我也懶得去說所以就用微笑掩饰自己的情绪吧。。

Tml i'm nt gg to sch .. Yes i'm nt gg to attend Mr HEE last lesson !! I wan to end my week 15 lesson wif nice faci and that is clive for today lesson hahaha.. Tml wil be meetin bestie pearline, gg to ION to walk walk :) Gonna enjoy myself b4 UT 3 coz i will be study 15 problems for 5 module !!

That shld be all.. Byee and gd night to u n her :)

心里面还是站在你这边那从前一直没走远

Losing confidence

2009-08-17T14:36:00.009+08:00

On sat night went for Alicia Ng 21st B'day Party !! On dat day for high 10 side onli Aj, Joyce & Me attending.. It was a nice party and i can see dat alicia did enjoy herself and she is realli happie when everyone sing her the b'day songs n when she make her wishes.. And tml that gal is gg for her driving test, So Pls PASS LA !! So that u can drive me out everytime we go out hahahaha..

Friends.. I do have lots of friends but some of us are nt united like last time anymore.. For High 10, we're nt as close like last time anymore, thing happen here n there dat make it drift soo far for some of us but at least i noe some of us are still very united and we'll make an effort to attend the gathering.. I hope soon High Ten will be united again maybe and hopefully it wil be my b'day celebration at Nov .. :)

Thing happen here and there to cause the frenhip to drift soo far and seems like it's a cycle.. It happen once b4 and nw it is happening again.. 我已经对爱情慢慢的失去信心了，我不想连友谊也让我失去信心。。太多事情了，我已经不想再多问了，太累了。。

我不敢聽，我不清楚，我讓自己失明，但仍舊躲不了忘不了。。該不該，是不是懂不懂，放開再封鎖，不懂如何拿捏傷口。。

勉强的笑了

I'm a little used to wandering outside the rain You can leave me tomorrow if it suits you just the same （Free Loop by Daniel Powter) Byee, that all for today.. Going listen to clive lesson :)

两行字的中间隔着多少时空

Shld had Ended

2009-08-12T23:52:00.001+08:00

I think afew days back someone did ask me wad if one day on the street i saw someone holdin on her hand or she is with her the other half, wad will i do ? I kind of forget wad i reply them but I noe i will turn n walk away.. I might even keep walkin aimlessly, i will just walk n walk..

Yest my sis ask me something when i was doing some DIY thingy.. She saw me using some decoration thingy and she ask me ehh u still gt ah ? I reply her: Ya stil haf, tat time i bought n make smth for Hueinee, i stil gt left.. My sis continue to ask : 最近很少听你提起她？I reply her: 没有事就没有提起她咯。。My sis ask again: Orh.. Dan u all nv meet le mehz ? I was like: Gt la gt meet but bth of us busy so nv meet recently lorz..

最近我不在期盼或等她上线或她的SMS了。。也许是真的累了，所以就不想再想或在提起那些事情了。。不想失去这一彻所以就把它放在一边了，原封不动的把它搁在哪。。也知道无论我在怎样努力，事情都还会是一样的，一彻不会在有任何的改变了。。

I'm tired, nid my sleep alreadi.. Gd night to u n her :)

以为幸福值得勇敢可惜最后还是走散

10/8/09

2009-08-10T23:21:00.000+08:00

Okay I had been workin n workin de past 3 days as it's a long weekend.. It's realli damn tiring for me as i did not have much rest or shld i sae dat i do not have enough rest at home.. Last sat meet up wif Bro and fangan for movie UP !! Jyc came along n join us for dinner too, it was a nice gathering durin the dinner time :) Work was quite fun but was realli tiring, workin wif nice ppl is great..

Tis week, I weekly magazine cover page is yvonne lim wif 2 another celebrity.. N i bought it, i feel that i gt cheated la, inside also nt much abt 林湘萍 !! Arghh, gt so excited n bought it n in de end onli 1 or 2 pages that have her !!

I think a few days back, i did 1 quiz at facebook abt how easy do i forgive and de ans i gt is I had a hard time moving on .. It stated I give people many chances. I'm very hurt and find it hard to forgive after being let down so often. Forgiveness isn't out of the question, but won't be easy or guaranteed.. I agree to it coz it's hard for me to fogive 1 person when i feel i being let down when i trust that person alot, I may forgive but it wil take a long time for me to do that :)

I also did another quiz as well, it regarding 上一段感情你還存在著遺憾嗎？The ans i gt is 放不下鬱卒派：你個性優柔寡斷，雖然時時告訴自己「算了-想開一點吧！」但是一段時間之後，還是會勾起痛苦的回憶。。

回憶是不是太痛太深刻了，所以直到现在还无法把它忘了。。累了，该睡了。。好像打太多了。。那就晚安吧！

If I could turn back time I'll go wherever you will go..

Yippie !

2009-08-06T09:33:00.004+08:00

Yest on channel U show my fav yvonne lim (林湘萍).. Finally after soo long can get to see some show that have her, miss watching her show but nvm her new drama will be showing soon hahaha.. once again i wil stick to my TV almost everyday at a particular timing juz to see her heee :p After watching de show, i get to noe her betta, like her family and her personal stuff.. She is realli a strong gal.. AND I Like her even more nw hahaa.. My dear yvonne lim 林湘萍 :D

林湘萍

N sat after work, gg to meet bro & fangan for movie (UP) and for dinner as well.. Finally up is screening soon, had been waitin for it for quite some time :)

2年前你告诉我：时间会证明一彻，但过了这么久时间又证明了什么呢？时间证明了直到现在还是你。。在我的生命中，有很多人经过我的身边，也认识了很多新朋友，但还是没有人能打开我的心，是她们打开不了还是我把她们都挡在门外了呢？

N for the past 2 days I had been meetin 1 person at de ladies, seems like we're onli meant to meet each other at de ladies hahaha .. Byee that shld be all 那就再见吧，我该去做功课了。。

什么原因让时间停了在伤心的镜头被停格

Finished !

2009-08-04T00:15:00.002+08:00

Okay I had finish readin 愛的3溫暖 alreadi.. In 2 days time or less dan 2 days, I had finish readin the whole book that is ard 200 over pages.. I love tis bk to de max, after readin everything it make me know S.H.E even betta.. I noe abt their childhood time, their loves life and of coz how hebe is soo rejected to write tis bk n all ..

I like this phrase that hebe told ella: 爱情绝对值得你付出，但你要给对的人，就算你们最后还是无法在一起，但起码那些过程都是真心。。:) Isn't it nice ? When I read till that part, I totally agree wif wad hebe told ella.. Don't u guys agree as well ?

There is another part of phrase dat I like also, it by hebe.. Tis part is sayin hw she feel abt ppl love to compare or compete.. 每一个歌手的声音，每张专辑的概念，曲风，甚至是预算都不一样，在这样的条件下，我不懂到底有什么好比的。。就像同一个妈妈生出来不同个性的孩子，有什么好比较？有什么好优势顺序？所以嘘~ 我们听音乐！I agree to wad hebe said, alot of ppl had been comparing this n that, there is nth much to compare abt actually, juz do ur best will do, everybody had something different in them, so no point comparing..

Yea thur is cumin soon, and I gonna go Urban Male and get my short hahaha.. Damn happie can coz i wan to get it for quite sometime and nw it is TIME !! Come Come, my pay quickly in hahaha.. N I want to go Taiwan again again again again again again again !! I wan to go dere as many time as I could hahaha.. 我爱台湾，台湾也爱我！我爱 S.H.E, S.H.E也爱我，因为我是她们的头号粉丝。。哈哈哈 :)

Byee that shld be all.. Actually gt more thing to type but i shall do it another day coz i'm tired and i wan to slp le Zzzzz.. Gd night to u n her :)

爱你清晰的可怕都怪我放不下还拼命在心里面磨擦

Enjoying

2009-08-02T23:51:00.004+08:00

愛的3溫暖

Currently i'm still enjoying reading s.h.e latest book 愛的3溫暖 !! I just went n collect my book ard 8 plus, had my dinner everything n i start readin the book at 9 plus.. The book is quite thick and it over 200 over pages and nw within 1 hrs plus, i'm at page 91 alreadi, after bloggin i wil stil continue to read hahaha.. maybe ard 12 plus dan i wil stop n go to slp n continue again tml..

For S.H.E, it too hard for me to stop readin it.. i think in 2 or 3 days time i wil finish readin the whole book hahaha.. N i wil go shopping soon hahaha, buy all de thing dat i wanted to buy hehehe :D Cousin celine ask me to save $ after our next yr mar USA trip as she is planning to go hokkaido either next yr dec or 2011 mar again :) Gonna save n save n dan enjoy myself hahaha..

That shld be all, will update again when i'm free.. Gd night to u n her :)

现实中幸福永远缺货

Sick

2009-07-30T22:12:00.001+08:00

I gt 2 days MC from sch and I was resting and sleeping at home throughout the whole day.. For wed i woke up ard 10 plus n measure my temperature and i was down with fever still.. Went to see a doc and gt 2 days MC n all those medicine n doc give me vitamin for to boost up my immune system too .. I like de vitamin hahaha.. After seein de doc, went home n had lunch but i could nt finish and i eat till very tired, ate my medicine, online for awhile and went to slp till 6 plus dan woke up but I'm stil very tired so I continue to slp till 8 plus til 9 for my dinner.. Went back to slp at 11 plus after havin my medicine

Today wake up at 10 plus again, ate some bread n watch TV.. Had lunch ard 12 plus n had my medicine again, online for awhile and went to slp till 5 plus again.. Juz had my dinner like 2 hrs ago, ltr gonna eat my medicine again n went to slp again.. Falling sick is soo horrible coz I feel soo tired and my mind is soo tired too, everytime I eat, i feel dat it is soo tired to eat.. This is the 1st time i feel that eatin can be soo tired too :(

Okay I gt to go get some rest as tml i wil be gg back to sch alreadi.. I miss the spot-check sms again :( Will I still receive tis (^.^) from her ? Maybe all tis wil speed up my recovery, okay i'm talkin nonense again ! Byee & GD night to u n her :)

这对你着迷的心留下难看的字迹

哀愁

2009-07-28T22:12:00.000+08:00

一直以来快乐悲伤都由自己判刑，也许因此身边的人也忘了我也值得被关心。。歡笑淚水说起来好像很简单，但当辜負，失望，墮落，傷痛，憎恨都一一的浮现出来，一彻只剩下淚水。。有时候我们都会痛到忘了要怎么喊痛，可是最后还是選擇了愛她勝過爱自己。。

漫长的等候让人特别失落锋锐寂寞把天空都割破。。从来都陷在孤独的流沙里人们也忘了我也配被人在意，一个人一直走看着梦像做了最后又空精疲力尽有没有哪里可以停泊呢？那是谁的温柔留在我的小手微不足道却那么重却又让我一直想着它。。 (寂寞光年)

AND I gt A for my UT 2 for my adventure Education !! Woo LALA :) But i am down wif cough, slight fever and body ache :( Yest physical trainin realli make my body ache .. Got to rest now.. Gd night to u n her :)

整个世界是沉默的漩涡

27/7/09

2009-07-27T14:42:00.005+08:00

I guess Blogger do not work well when i at home but it work well in sch hahaha.. Betta blog in sch as i want to post pics.. Yest after work went bottle tree park for dinner with cousins n family.. The food dere was quite nice but was ex as well, over dere was quite nice gt quite alot of thing to do n enjoy over dere but i will nv head dere for prawning coz it damn ex and i belief there is nt much prawn dere as well, i would always prefer Bishan wan :)

On sat at work, huilin give me smth n it a farewell gifts as her attachments is finishing soon.. Soo sad, wil miss disturbin her by making MR PIG hahaha .. Below are de gift that huilin did for us, mine is in green :)

Sha Sha, Juraidah, Dang

Soon i will get de S.H.E 爱的3温暖 book, and i will be able to read the thing they wrote and also de drawing by Ella :)) It's boring in class, soo boring.. Byee to u n her

付出的也全都伤痕累累

2009-07-24T21:52:00.002+08:00

I had choose my elective module for sem 2 alreadi, the module I had chose is Sports business… At first was caught in between sports business and sports coaching, but in the end stil choose sports business as all along I had been interested in business thingy. Did ask nee for some advice as well but she sae it afterall my decision dat is important :)

Seriously there is smth wrong wif blogger and it is damn irritating. Dunnoe wad wrong with it ?

每个人心里都有一道墙，我也不例外。。我心里的那道墙只有一个人能把它拆掉。。我們必須付出太多情感來面對那些我們所愛的人給予的快乐和不快乐，就算不快乐也不会把它显现出来因为不想让她看到你不开心的那一面。。对于爱情给我们的那些快乐和伤痛我們都停不下來 ,一直都停不下來的喜怒哀乐。

因為有些太深刻的回忆都太痛撤了 ,導致有些東西永遠都无法忘掉。。愛人太痛了對吧？

Saw this from Nana msn personal message: Dun let someone be your priority while you are just an option to them.. I feel that it is really true but 我早就已经把她放在优先了。。

Tml n sun is work again.. Byee and night to u n her :)

一直从昨天一直到今天 , 一直到永远我相信是我最爱你

20/7/09

2009-07-20T13:11:00.006+08:00

Happie 21st B'day PAT PAT !!!!

Today is ah Pat B'day and on sat alreadi pass her B'day present !! Last yr is famous amos cookie and tis year is chocolate and 1 shampoon ..

Class had been quite fun and nice but lesson boring la hahahaha !! Bal keep disturb me, keep callin me Min Min !! Ahhhh no one had been callin me for like damn long n pls dun call me dat coz i hate it n soo gal la !!!

When we gt nth much to do after class n sch having H1N1 :p

他妈的，那些男人是没有脑吗？真的那么需要女人吗？一天没有女朋友会死啊！王八蛋，把女人当什么。。 Seriously i dunnoe wad those guys wan ? Can't they juz fucking live their days without GF or gals juz for a period of time uh !!! Those guys betta dun come n mess with my friends ..

Byee, gt to prepare for presentation alreadi.. Haf a great day to u n her :))

心软弱了逃避是非潜意识我心碎

18/7/09

2009-07-18T23:09:00.003+08:00

Juz had steamboat dinner wif family, cousin celine n weilee and auntie.. The food was okay n i was realli full :) Tml after work dinner wif family again, tml is wif cousin jieying & BF, cousin jingyi n uncle n auntie.. I'm soo tired juz nw and i fall aslp on de way home on cousin celine car.. I nid lots of sleep n rest :( Give me more time, and i wil use it for sleeping hahahaha :D

Sometime i just don't understand those guys or shld i sae Malay guys ? Are u guys seriously soo desperate for gals or chinese gals ? Soo desperate till u guys go ard telling ppl or confess to ppl and sae those thing like : I realli like u or wadeva.. Bullshit n nonense la !!! STOP going ard n tell ppl dat i realli like u coz You had been telling this to dunnoe hw many plenty of gals uh !!!! 他妈的，去死吧！！没有大脑的人，想到就气死了！

我的眼睛好累噢，就快要闭上了。。我要睡了，累了。。再见吧，晚安咯。。Gd night to u n her then :)

也许是我自己掩饰的不够好吧...

2009-07-15T13:32:00.002+08:00

Currently nw in sch, at 1st dun realli wan to come sch as it's raining and i wan to go home half way, totally no mood and stil thinking about other thing.. Juz like 2hrs ago, i saw my fone blinkin as i switch to silent mode, and it a phone call.. She call back :) I dunnoe hw to describle my feeling, but i'm realli happie.. Coz it nt like wad others sae like she ignore my call or... Okay i seriously dunnoe wad i wanna type or sae anymore, I'm juz glad dat she call back :) I noe once again i sounded realli silly again ..

隐藏的笑容。。

沒原因的等著，没有目的地一直向前走。。風吹過多少哀愁多少回忆，但是它从没把伤心和难过吹走我身边。。放棄从不跟我说：是时候了，放下吧不想等了,就走吧。。坚持却常跟我说：如果等待会有结果，就等吧就坚持吧。。

我每一次都會在這邊微笑的看著你這麼快樂，看着你的的笑容。。所有人都有這個權利选择他们或我们所要的, 原本的, 我要不要? 卻變成, 我可不可以? 為什麼呢？兜了了一圈，又回到原地了。。

That should be all, it time for lesson and work time :) Byee to u n her, have a great day ahead :)

沉默的瞬间寂寞却伴着我长眠

Finally

2009-07-14T23:01:00.004+08:00

Finally after soo much consideration and thinking, I give her a call.. Thank to edmund from helpin me in someways :)) She did nt ans de call, actually b4 i make de call, i alreadi knew that she will nt pick de call but edmund sae at least give her a miss call and she know that u call her, whether she call u back, it up to her alreadi.. Seriously, it took me quite sometime to make tis call, everytime i wanna make de call, i'll think abt lots of thing like "will I disturb her in someways ? Is she busy or ? " Tis are all de thing that i always think when i sms her or call her ..
Oh ya, today is Meishan B'day !! Happie 23rd b'day to u, may all ur wishes come true :)

心裡最深的牽掛越想遺忘越不能忘。。我一直都在想怎样才能把这一彻都做的更好，我不断的在想不断的在思考，我却找不到答案。。是不是我爱你太多，给你太多了？累了，晚安吧。。去睡了。。

Silent...

I'll nv break your heart, I'll nv make you cry (Never i wil do that)
爱得汹涌　来不及闪躲我却为她坠落